Coming Out

Real Life in SEX, LOVE, AND VIDEOGAMES–Review & Giveaway

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Hi there! Today I’m sharing my review for a newly-released contemporary M/M coming of age/coming out novel by CJane Elliot. SEX, LOVE AND VIDEO GAMES is the third book in the Serpentine series that revolves around young gay men of the University of Virginia.

I really enjoyed the diversity of characters and the heartbreaking realness of the story.This book features a loving, God-fearing, Southern black family containing a poor, dyslexic, gay young man, and his flamboyant transgender cousin, and a wealthy white gay young man–all of whom find joy, acceptance and heartbreak. (Not in that order, though!!)

Don’t forget to enter the giveaway for the three book set!

Sex, Love, and Videogames (Serpentine #3)About the book:
Shy guy Jed Carter has always felt invisible next to his charismatic older brother, Kent. Kent’s master plan for Jed is simple: University of Virginia, fraternity, business, sports, and ladies’ man. None of it is Jed, except for playing on the rugby team, which he joins in defiance of soccer-loving Kent. Jed comes out in his sophomore year and starts seeing Pete, an attractive junior, who uses him for sex and videogames. Jed wants more—in life and in love—and starts making his own plans. First on the list: getting to know Charlie, the handsome guy working at the local videogame arcade.

Charlie Ambrose has always felt like an oddball, and not just for his tendency to stutter. Being gay sets him apart from his African-American community, and as a “townie,” he doesn’t fit in with the college crowd. Charlie’s inspiration is his cousin, Morocco, who’s transgender and doesn’t give a fig about fitting in. Art is Charlie’s passion, and when a local videogame designer discovers him, Charlie’s living a dream. The only thing he’s missing is love. But the last person Charlie expects to find it with is a cute, white U.Va. rugby player named Jed.

How about a little taste?

“Okay, warm up laps!” Beau led the rugby team in a slow circuit around the perimeter of Mad Bowl. After a few laps, he stopped and had them do stretching exercises.
The other team did their warming up, and when they moved to take positions, Jed noticed a pair of people standing on the sidelines. His breathing stopped for a second. Charlie stood, hands in his pockets, shifting from foot to foot, while Morocco, a vision in a pink track suit, set up a camp chair (apt name, that) and sat down. Morocco saw Jed looking and waved. Charlie turned and gave a small wave himself, and Jed waved back, heart beating faster.
“Who’re they?” Bud asked, squinting over at them.
“Um, Charlie’s a guy who works at Lucky’s. In the gaming area. And the other is his cousin.”
“Hmm. Townies?”
“Yep.”
“She’s cute.”
“Um, well, about that….” Jed cut himself off because the referee blew the whistle. Time to play ball and hope he did well in front of those two.
The game proved the usual testosterone-fest, with lots of grunting and body contact. When Jed scored some points, Morocco produced pom poms that matched her outfit and waved them wildly.
At the break, Jed ran over to them for a minute to say hi—fuck what the rest of the team thought.
“Jed, child, my word!” Morocco fanned her chest. “Y’all are such manly men! Rugby is going to be my new obsession, I just know it!”
“I like it. My mom never let me play contact sports in high school, so I kinda love ramming into people.” Jed felt his cheeks flame at what he had said. Crap-a-doodle.
But Morocco laughed and Charlie faked a cough so he could smile behind his fist.
“So, hey, thanks for coming. I gotta go back now.”
Charlie nodded as Morocco said, “We’ll see you after the game.” She picked up her pom poms. “Wa-hoo-wa!”
When the team huddled before the second half, a homophobe named Welburn said with a sneer, “Who are those freaks on the sidelines?”
Another guy laughed. “Yeah. I thought all the he-shes lived in San Francisco.”
“What’re you talking about?” Bud peered over toward Charlie and Morocco. “That girl?”
Welburn spit on the ground. “That girl is no she. She’s a he. What the hell are they doing here?”
Beau raised his voice. “Hey, concentrate, guys. We need to win this game.”
Jed held up a hand to stop Beau from continuing. “Before we do that, you all need to know that those are some friends of mine. So shut your fucking faces before I shut them for you.” He leveled a lethal glare at Welburn and his compatriot.
Fueled by his anger, Jed played an amazing second half, and the team pulled out a victory on the strength of his points alone. After their team high five, he trotted over to Charlie and Morocco. Charlie smiled broadly while Morocco jumped up and down. “Jed, Jed, Jed! Wa-hoo-wa! Thass right!”
“Okay, okay.” Jed couldn’t help laughing at Morocco’s outrageous enthusiasm. “Thanks for coming to the game.”
“It was fun. I’m glad we came.” Charlie took a step back, seemingly surprised to have gotten two stutter-free sentences out.
“I’m glad too.” They gazed tentatively at each other, and Morocco suddenly got busy folding up the camp chair.

My Review:
This is a coming out, coming of age story for two young men of very different backgrounds. While this is part of a series, it is fully enjoyable as a standalone read.

Jed is a white, northern Virginian, younger brother to charismatic Kent, and gay. Secretly gay. He has a crush on Kent’s best friend, and is loath to come out amid the gay slurs and homophobic environment of the frat Kent pushes Jed to join when Jed arrives at UVa in Charlottesville. He’s angry and defiant and passive-aggressive, especially when he sees out-gay men being out, and gay. A YEAR passes in the state, and still only Jed’s BFF, Myesha (a black girl he works with), knows his big gay secret. Well, until he blurts it out in the heat of frustration, in a crowd of his bigoted frat brothers.

Charlie is of mixed race: white mom, black dad, and his father was killed in a military training exercise years ago. He lives in Charlottesville with his mom and his dad’s extended family, who are all fully black, and good churchgoing folk. His closest confidant is Morocco, his transgender cousin–who the family matriarch, Granny Myrt, still calls “Ronald.” While his family doesn’t give Morocco trouble over her female dress and hair, they don’t generally approve. Still, the are Southern, and good Southern folk don’t speak about giant rabid elephants trouncing the parlor, apparently. It’s not genteel, I suppose. (disclaimer, I’m a white Yankee so this I had to take on faith.)

Charlie suffers a learning disability, but he’s a talented artist. Instead of joining Morocco at college, he works at a videogame parlor/arcade/restaurant and his drawings are admired by a videogame maker who frequents the shop. Having no formal training, a crippling shyness, and a stutter, it takes Charlie a long time to open up to people, but Morocco’s encouragement goes a long way.

The book spans three years, and only the last six months bring Jed and Charlie into direct contact. During the first 60% of the book both of these men are coming to terms with their sexuality, coming out, and initiating fledgling sexual acquaintances. It is more bitter than sweet for both of them–who are essentially used by partners and take the meager scraps of physicality they are tossed because they have no self-esteem. I was glad to see this change in Charlie. Jed’s heart is stomped on, and he comes out the other side. Both men develop the skills to stand up for themselves in many ways–professionally, and academically, which was good to see.

When Jed and Charlie do connect their skittishness is cute, but equally frustrating, as they struggle to demonstrate their interest clearly. Charlie also fears coming out to his entire family–though Morocco and his mother do know Jed is his boyfriend. Upside, they find happiness with each other.

I don’t really consider this book a clear romance, however. It is good storytelling, with interesting characters and all, but the long exposition and parallel plot paths keeping Charlie and Jed separate overshadow a traditional romantic arc. I truly enjoyed the “black” side of this book, as it was so tenderly rendered. Having known many black people and families closely in my life, I felt the characters were very close to real. Granny Myrt is a real trip, and her grudging acceptance of Morocco and Charlie’s revelations are so welcome. Also, Charlie’s anguish of being “not black enough” as a mixed-race kid was something some of my friends experienced–and it’s a raw deal that was touched upon in real ways here. I very much appreciated the diversity of culture and race in this book–Jed and Charlie are a bridge between their two worlds, and I found their overcoming of these divisions to be heartening and heartwarming.

Interested? You can find SEX, LOVE, AND VIDEOGAMES on Goodreads, Dreamspinner Press, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and AllRomance eBooks.

****GIVEAWAY****

Click the Rafflecopter link bleow for your chance to win ecopies of the Serpentine Series.
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Good luck and keep reading my friends!

About the Author:
After years of hearing characters chatting away in her head, CJane Elliott finally decided to put them on paper and hasn’t looked back since. A psychotherapist by training, CJane enjoys writing sexy, passionate stories that also explore the human psyche. CJane has traveled all over North America for work and her characters are travelers, too, traveling down into their own depths to find what they need to get to the happy ending.

CJane is an ardent supporter of LGBTQ equality and is particularly fond of coming out stories.

In her spare time, CJane can be found dancing, listening to music, or watching old movies. Her husband and son support her writing habit by staying out of the way when they see her hunched over, staring intensely at her laptop.

You can find CJane on her website, Facebook, and Twitter.
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Wrapped Up In A COLLAR AND TIE–Reviews and Adieus…

Hi there! It’s my great pleasure to share reviews for the final book (and companion!) in the Ganymede Quartet, A COLLAR AND TIE. I have shared reviews for this alternate historical M/M series: A MOST PERSONAL PROPERTY, A PROPER LOVER, and A WILLFUL ROMANTIC, each having a free companion novella as a bonus.

In truth, I adore these boys, and their travails have become mine.

A Collar and Tie (Ganymede Quartet #4)My Review:
This is the FINAL book (sighs from the loss!) of the Ganymede Quartet, and the books need to be read in order.

I have faithfully followed this series, loving every second of Henry’s angst and Martin’s solicitousness. The books are set in an alternate historical period, NYC circa 1901, but in this world slaves are still present, and Companion slaves are purchased by wealthy families for the personal use of their teenaged children. Martin is a Companion from the House of Ganymede who was purchased for Henry Blackwell, scion of the industrialist Hiram Blackwell, seven months ago. Henry’s darkest secret is that he loves Martin, even though it is unnatural and unacceptable gentlemanly behavior.

Henry is a romantic fool, wishing that he could change the world so that his love for Martin could be shared with any, and every, one. He has no desire to marry a woman, even though he knows this is expected. He fears his father will take Martin away if he learns of Henry’s proclivities, and yet he cannot contain his ardor. *swoon*

Henry is a desirable partner for the ladies, because he is wealthy and handsome, and his lack of interest is almost catnip for some of the girls of his acquaintance. Still, Henry’s impulsiveness is bound to get him into more trouble–when he steals private moments at the Metropolitan Ball with Martin. His indiscretion leads to a falling out with his best friend, Louis, and a hasty retreat into the bowels of NYC’s seedy gay society.

I was so enamored of this part–of Henry finding common folk with whom to share his joy over being with Martin. Being that he’s still only 16, Henry’s compass doesn’t necessarily point in the proper direction. Martin’s attempt to steer him rightly is unwelcome, and leads to further discord. Oy vey, Henry! It is meant to be, child, just not the way YOU want it to be…

I had my heart broken along with Henry, though I knew he was being petulant and rotten to Martin. I awaited reconciliation and, like Martin, was rewarded for my patience. As a romance, this book (and series) hits all the marks. It is sexy and sweet and sad and joyous. I have angsted alongside these boys for the better part of a year–and I could go ten more years hearing their wondrous tales.

All the main issues are accounted for: Henry and his parents have a better relationship. Henry learns to deal with his love for Martin in private. People want to be around Henry, despite his “invert” issues. Martin is fantastic and lovely and wonderful and Henry will be a better man for loving him.

This book ends with a satisfying resolution, but I’m still not satisfied. I’m a little bitter that this is the end, in truth. I need more Henry and Martin in my life. I want to know how their lives change. I want to tag along to college, and to see Henry attempt to court a lady. I want he and Martin to live long happy lives together, filled with adventure and love.

I know I won’t see them again like this, and I am melancholy over it.

Sign of a fantastic series….

Interested? You can find A COLLAR AND TIE on Goodreads, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble.

As is Ms. Glass’ custom, she releases a companion novella from the POV of Henry’s Companion, Martin. This is a freebie, but won’t make much sense for people who don’t read Henry’s book, first.

26093726I adored A FREE CHOICE, which is to be expected, really, as I have adored the series in its entirety.

The book is a wrap on the series, and mostly follows the final three days of A COLLAR AND TIE, from Martin’s perspective. It is lovely and wonderful, and I want more!

Martin has recently reconciled with his master and lover, Henry Blackwell. Henry’s family is an odd mix, and not quite what Martin had hoped for when he was being sold as a Companion last September, but Martin has found love and devotion in his master and he could not have wished for better circumstances.

Martin does wrap up his thoughts on the 14th Street debacle and his misery over Henry’s bad temper quite well. I was so glad to see his playfulness and thoughtfulness come out so strongly. I think Martin is finally comfortable enough to be a partner to Henry, and not solely his slave. I do so want to see them try Chinese food, and go out adventuring with Mr. Ross and Simon! To see them play with Mr. Wilton and Russ.

I think I might not go gracefully into this goodnight, Ms. Glass!

I am not ready for this series to end. And I am eager for further stories to bring them back to me.
*crosses fingers*
*contemplates pact with the devil*

You can find A FREE CHOICE on Goodreads, Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

About the Author:
Darrah Glass is a writer and generally inquisitive person who likes her fantasies to be as historically accurate as possible. She loves research, sex scenes, and researching sex scenes. She’s married and happily childless, does yoga, never cleans her house, likes shoes and toenail polish, and is vain about her hair. As far as her priorities are concerned, she’d rather write than do just about anything else, and she drives a 15-year-old car but carries really nice purses.

You can catch up with Darrah on Goodreads, her website and twitter.

Thanks for popping in, and keep reading my friends! 🙂

Loving a HARD DAY’S NIGHT–Excerpt and Giveaway

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Hi there! Today I’m sharing some love for Mia Kerick’s new release, HARD DAY’S NIGHT. I’ve reviewed a few of Mia’s books, THE RED SHEET, RANDOM ACTS, and LOVE SPELL, and I just adore her heartfelt, and compelling M/M fiction.

Make sure to drop down and enter the giveaway for a $15 Amazon gift card.

HDN CoverAbout the book:
High school senior Kalin (Lennon) Macready knows several facts for certain: John Lennon is his hero. Beaumont Finley Danforth II (Fin) is his best friend. And—this is the complicated one—he feels more for Fin than mere friendship.

For weeks, Lennon pesters Fin, who like Lennon admits to questioning his sexual orientation, for a commitment to spend twenty-four hours together exploring “the gay side of life.” Fin reluctantly agrees. Each boy will seek to answer the daunting question, Am I gay? Lennon pre-plans the day, filling the hours with what he assumes “gay life” is all about: shopping for fashionable clothing, indulging in lavish dessert crepes, boogying to Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off”, and yes, listening to show tunes.

However, Lennon quickly realizes that in creating his plan he has succumbed to the most common and distorted of gay stereotypes. Can he be gay and not fit them? And more importantly, is it possible that spending one very hard day and night together will help Fin accept that he’s gay, too? If so, maybe Lennon has a shot at winning the heart of the boy of his dreams.

“A Hard Day’s Night” is an amusing young adult contemporary romance about two boys who seek to discover if they must fulfill stereotypes to be together.
In the end, maybe all you need is love.

How about a little taste?

“Fin and I have managed to get locked into what I will refer to as a repetitive pattern of affable behavior, and, in my opinion, it’s working out splendidly. We are the dearest of friends.”

Scratch that. Starting over.

And since I know it’s well past time for some brutally honest self-talk, I sit up in my bed, and by the warm glow of my Yellow Submarine nightlight, study my frayed picture of John Lennon. To complete the visual, it’s the photo from Mom’s retro record set, The White Album, that I pinned to the wall beside my bed and have worshipped regularly since I was in the seventh grade. Behind those round wire glasses, the man’s piercing eyes don’t lie—John was a brutally honest sort, often to his detriment. After all, back in 1966 didn’t he assert that The Beatles were more popular than Jesus Christ? Now, that is certainly calling it exactly as he sees it.

Not that I necessarily agree with the sentiment, I respect that kind of direct-ness in a person.

I owe him this much.

Out of respect for John, I revise and reissue my previous assertion.

“The Finster and I are stuck in a rut of pleasant compatibility… an unusually deep rut, at that.”

This attempt at telling-it-like-it-is is definitely an improvement, but it’s still not right on the money, and I’m nothing, if not specific.

I prop up my pillow and lean hard against the creaky antique headboard (call it like you see it, Lennon—the headboard is just plain old), with the certain knowledge that I’ve completely outgrown this flimsy, twin size bed of my childhood.

So maybe it’s more like this….

“Fin and I each have one leg semi-submerged in a muddy ditch, and we’re in it well past our knees. This is the kind of murky and dark, seemingly bottomless, pit that will suck the rubber boot right off your foot with a single, hollow, slurping sound, and then belch with satisfaction.” For the third time I speak aloud in an effort to make my declaration official. “It appears that the two of us are gonna be stuck here in this mucky BFF-swampland for the long haul— bootless and slowly sinking into the sludge—unless, of course, I act decisively and with haste. And with great vigor—because, to accomplish the task I have in mind, I’m most likely going to have to shift into full-hyper-dunk-mode, possibly coupled with the drama-queen-approach. Neither of which poses a problem for me, other than that they require an excessive expenditure of energy.”

That was most definitely a mouthful, but an accurate mouthful.

And all I need is one day. Just one gay day.

Thankfully, ever proud of the open-mindedness he hides so well from his ultra-conservative family, Fin has granted me my greatest wish. On Saturday, March 21st, Beaumont Finley Danforth II (IMHO this BFD is a Big Fucking Deal) is mine for the day to do with as I please. I sincerely hope that a single day is sufficient to help Fin figure out what I already know.

Um, Lennon…maybe now is not the right time to start suffering with a debilitating bout of self-doubt.

Confidence is of key importance in this endeavor.

No, I do not have any worries, and yes, I do have twenty-four feminine-side-ex- ploring, team-switching, relationship-igniting hours to make my homeboy see the rainbow-hued light. Starting bright and early tomorrow morning.

On that note, I’ll get started with my beauty sleep. I sure hope I’m gonna need it.

I wiggle down so I’m flat on my back with my feet sticking six inches over the end of the bed, pull the covers up to my chin, and listen to my mental arrangement of “Imagine” until I fall asleep.

My Review:

This is a tender, loving story about two best friends figuring out their sexuality together. Kalin, a Beatles aficionado who’s been called “Lennon” since middle school, has a serious crush on his best friend Fin. Fin is the only son of a wealthy family, and is expected to go to Stanford, become a lawyer, and enter the family firm–even though he’s really only interested in film making.

Fin is a champion skier, and usually spends all his weekends on the slopes, but he’s due to stay home this weekend and Lennon has convinced him to spend 24 hours in the “gay experience.” This includes “gay” makeovers, including guyliner, Zumba dancing, and frilly cappuccinos. What he didn’t plan, but is grateful to find, is Fin’s especially serious take on the whole day’s events.

These two guys are so tender, and so earnest. They know they are way closer than two hetero guys should be, and they are afraid what that means. Well, Fin is. He has a lot of expectations to live up to, and he is a born “pleaser,” working hard to please everyone. I think he went along with Lennon’s plan simply to please him, at first, and finding that some of the gauche stereotypes they indulged in were more appealing then he could have imagined.

For a short read, this novella is very powerful, and would surely appeal to questioning teens. Expect some dark moments, too, when Fin and Lennon have barely acknowledged their sexuality and run afoul of some serious hate. I feared they wouldn’t come out of it well, but they shined on, and it was very touching. I totally loved the integration of Beatles wisdom, thoughts and lyrics into the prose. It was true that love was all they needed.

Interested? You can find HARD DAY’S NIGHT on Goodreads, Amazon, AllRomance and Gumroad.

****GIVEAWAY****

Click the Rafflecopter link below for your chance to win a $15 Amazon gift card.
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Good luck and keep reading my friends!

About the Author:
Mia Kerick is the mother of four exceptional children—all named after saints—and five nonpedigreed cats—all named after the next best thing to saints, Boston Red Sox players. Her husband of twenty-two years has been told by many that he has the patience of Job, but don’t ask Mia about that, as it is a sensitive subject.

Mia focuses her stories on the emotional growth of troubled young people and their relationships, and she believes that physical intimacy has a place in a love story, but not until it is firmly established as a love story. As a teen, Mia filled spiral-bound notebooks with romantic tales of tortured heroes (most of whom happened to strongly resemble lead vocalists of 1980s big-hair bands) and stuffed them under her mattress for safekeeping. She is thankful to Dreamspinner Press, Harmony Ink Press, and CreateSpace for providing her with alternate places to stash her stories.

Mia is a social liberal and cheers for each and every victory made in the name of human rights, especially marital equality. Her only major regret: never having taken typing or computer class in school, destining her to a life consumed with two-fingered pecking and constant prayer to the Gods of Technology.

Where to find Mia online: Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads.

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Life as the KNAVE OF BROKEN HEARTS–Review & Giveaway

Hi there! Today I’m sharing my review for Tara Lain’s KNAVE OF BROKEN HEARTS, a contemporary M/M Romance. While this is the second series in the Love in Laguna series, it can be easily enjoyed as a standalone book. I really liked the KNIGHT OF OCEAN AVENUE and looked forward to this story. Jim is a construction worker with a dark past and Ken is a Japanese-American physician with willful parents. Can they make it work?

Don’t forget to enter the $25 Amazon GC giveaway below.

About the book:Jim Carney has a full time job—running from himself. Since he walked out on his wealthy family at sixteen because he’d wrecked his best friend’s life over some yaoi graphic novels, Jim has lived a macho, blue-collar existence of too much booze and too little responsibility. Then Billy Ballew, the man Jim most admires, gives Jim a chance to come through as his construction supervisor. For once, Jim is determined to make someone proud. Then Jim goes in for a physical for his new job and his yaoi dream comes to life in the form of cardiologist Ken Tanaka. Jim discovers he has two heart problems—a wonky mitral valve and a serious attraction to his doctor. But Ken is a major player, and Jim might be just a notch on the doc’s stethoscope. To Ken, Jim is unforgettable—but the living embodiment of his traditional family’s worst nightmares.

How come the minute Jim decides to be responsible, he finds himself taking care of his kid brother, getting a proposal from a wealthy woman, making a deal with the devil, and winding up in the hospital—when all he really wants is the Knave of Broken Hearts?

How about a little taste?

“Jim?”

He looked up at Ken Tanaka standing in the door to the inner office. The doc came to get Jim
himself.

“Are you okay? You look upset?”

“Oh no, not exactly.”

“Want to come in?”

“Sure.”

He stood and walked through the door, inhaling Tanaka’s spicy/sweet scent that filled his head like smoke. God, he felt disoriented, like he didn’t know which world he lived in—one where he went out on dates with a rich woman, or one in which he gazed into the beautiful eyes of Yaoi Man and got a hard-on. Hell, both of them had to be fantasyland.

Ken motioned him into a private office that wasn’t an examining room. “Please, take a seat.”

Jim sat in a guest chair in front of Ken’s desk, and the doc walked all the way around to
sit in his big leather chair. Very professional. Very distant. Very not a good
sign. “So I got back the results of your echocardiogram.”

“Yeah?” Shit, they should take another test right now. The way his heart hammered in his ears, he’d sure as fuck fail.

“Your mitral valve prolapse is what I would call moderate to severe. It’s difficult to tell exactly without doing surgery.”

“Surgery?” Close your mouth, idiot.

“Yes, that’s how a severely, shall we say, floppy valve is corrected.”

“Floppy?” It came out like a squeak.

“I’m not recommending surgery now. We’re going to observe over the next few months. I want you to let me know any problems, arrhythmic heartbeats, racing heart, chest pains, anything irregular that might occur, okay?”

Shit, all of that was so regular for him, and he was so not going to tell Tanaka that. He nodded.

“Don’t worry. Mitral valve prolapse is quite common. Most people never have any real difficulty. Just follow my directions. Don’t drink excessively, eat healthy food, even organic would be advisable, and avoid stress.”

Jim’s mouth opened, then closed. He was okay on the drinking thing so far, although this news made him want to down a bottle of Jack. Still, on the other stuff, the doc might as well say fly to the moon and bring back some green cheese. Hell, even being around Tanaka could give him a fucking heart attack. Sitting here thinking he might die any moment, and his cock still wanted to escape his jeans just from looking at the doctor’s lips. Maybe that’s how he’d go out. Lean over and kiss Ken Tanaka. Bye-bye, Charlie.

“Does that all seem doable?”

Jim nodded. “Does, uh, that mean I don’t get the insurance?” Jesus, that would be bad.

“No. As I told you, mitral valve prolapse is common. I’ve signed the papers and turned them in. You should get the approval with no problem. You’re officially no longer a patient.”

That felt both good and bad. “Thanks, man.”

“My pleasure. As I say, it’s not an inherently worrisome diagnosis.” Ken sat back in his chair. “So you’re hooking up with our sexy landlord, huh?” He smiled, but something seemed phony about it.

“Uh, no. She was just talking to me about how to build out her suites. And she, uh, has some
more work for us.”

Ken stood and walked toward the door of his office. “I don’t know, buddy. I’d look out for her. You could find yourself hooked.”

Buddy? Seriously? “I won’t worry too much. You told me to avoid stress.” He walked over to the door, looked at Ken, then glanced away. “You seem to have a new boyfriend. Cute guy.”

He frowned. “My mother fixed us up.”

“Seriously?” Jim snorted a laugh.

“You, my friend, are not Japanese, or you’d understand.”

“You were born in Japan?” Ken had no accent at all.

“No, I was born in Costa Mesa, but—well, it’s complicated. So don’t worry about your heart. My office manager is gone, but she’ll call you to make an appointment in about two months. Meanwhile, I’m serious about contacting me if anything unusual occurs.”

“Anything?”

“With your health, crazy man.” He smiled, and this time it reached his eyes.

Two months. He had no excuse to see Ken Tanaka for two months. Hell, that was good news. Maybe
he’d get his feet back under him, if he didn’t die of a heart attack first. “Thanks again for
helping me with the architect thing.”

Ken raised an eyebrow. “Is it working out with Willings?”

“Yeah. He assigned one of the young guys in his office to handle the drawings, and he’s
great. He’s really saved my ass.”

“Good. See, I helped relieve your stress.” He sounded sad.

“Yeah.” He stuck out his hand. Ken took it, and heat traveled up Jim’s arm all the way to his heart. “Guess I’ll see you in two months.”

“Yes.”

“Don’t marry any guys you don’t want to marry.” He tried to grin.

Ken didn’t grin. “I’ll try.”

My Review:
Jim has many issues–he’s an alcoholic and just coming to terms with his sexuality, at age 27. He’s pretty sure that he’s not into women. Because, while he’s always dated women, he can only get off sexually while imagining yaoi–a type of Japanese erotic comic. Essentially, yaoi is gay graphic art, and Jim has been hooked on it since he was a teen.

Jim was raised in an affluent home, but he walked away after his homophobic  father, a powerful cardiovascular physician, learned of his yaoi interests. Now, eleven years later, Jim is finally getting his life together. His best work pal, Billy, has hired him on as stie manager for a tenant improvement project while Billy and his new husband go on their honeymoon.  All Jim must do is complete the physical–which brings him close to Dr. Ken Tanaka, the living embodiment of Jim yaoi fantasies. Dr. Tanaka is a young, brilliant cardiologist who is investigating the severity of Jim’s newly diagnosed heart murmur.

Teaser #3 - Knave Of Broken HeartsAnd that’s a big problem because being anywhere close to Dr. Tanaka makes Jim’s heart pound.

Ken Tanaka is the dutiful son of Japanese immigrants. His mother has finally stopped trying to convince Ken to marry a suitable Japanese girl, but Ken’s not sure that he’s able to appease his mother by dating the gay men she arranges for him, either. See, Ken’s totally, unethically drawn to his patient, Jim. He practically pants for Jim’s burliness and honesty, and is frustrated that (ha, ha!) all the good ones are straight.

They find themselves in close quarters more than once, and the chemistry is off the charts. Jim, despite his fantasies, has not had a gay encounter since his first sexual partner at 16 and Ken is a desirable man–one other men and women find very attractive. How can he, a high school dropout and self-taught construction supervisor be a catch for his sexy cardiologist? Also, Jim’s distracted by his new roommate–his 18 y/o younger brother whose been kicked out for coming out as gay. Ian’s a sweet boy, eager to please and get on with his interrupted life, and becomes a fantastic confidant to his sexually-confused elder brother.

I so loved the interplay between expectation and reality, here. Both Ken and Jim want each other, but neither will take the first step on account of believing that it will go nowhere. Plus, Jim isn’t sure he can be with a man–at first. But life takes a strange turn when friends of the boy Ken is set up with turn out to have criminal intent and Jim is called to rescue Ken from some pretty dire circumstances. Their proximity is too much for Jim to resist–especially when Ken wants him so openly.

Still,it’s a tricky business, this coming together. Jim and Ken have professional and personal responsibilities that aren’t going away, and at least one man’s heart is set for breaking. I really enjoyed the slow burn, and struggled with the complications of this love story. Jim is a closet case, with lucrative reasons for staying so, and Ken has a lot of family pressure to accept his mom’s hand-picked husband candidate. There’s a good bit of bitter to go with the sweet here, as both men figure out the way to make their plans and their attractions work in concert. I loved the steamy bits and only wished it was a bit rosier of a story–but appreciated the honest issues that plagued both Ken and Jim. Jim has to choose to come out, and Ken has to choose to stand up to his parents–neither are easy choices for them to make.  The HEA was excellent after all that turmoil.

Available for purchase at 
 
Paperback from Dreamspinner

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About the Author:
Tara Lain writes the Beautiful Boys of Romance in LGBT erotic romance novels that star her unique, charismatic heroes. Her first novel was published in January of 2011 and she’s now somewhere around book 23. Her best­selling novels have garnered awards for Best Series, Best Contemporary Romance, Best Ménage, Best LGBT Romance, Best Gay Characters, and Tara has been named Best Writer of the Year in the LRC Awards. In her other job, Tara owns an advertising and public relations firm. She often does workshops on both author promotion and writing craft.

She lives with her soul­mate husband and her soul­mate dog in Laguna Beach, California, a pretty seaside town where she sets a lot of her books. Passionate about diversity, justice, and new experiences, Tara says on her tombstone it will say “Yes”!

You can find Tara at:

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He Loves a TREBLE MAKER

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Hi there! Today I’m sharing in the blog tour for TREBLE MAKER by Annabeth Albert. This contemporary M/M romance is part The Voice, part GLEE, and all good. You know I loved the Portland Heat books, so I jumped at the chance to review this one! Don’t forget to page down and enter the giveaway for a $20 Amazon gift card.

Treble Maker (Perfect Harmony, #1)About the book:
On Perfect Harmony, the ambitious competitors heat things up on stage and off…

Cody Rivers is determined to be a rock star, but couch-surfing between bar shows gets old fast. Joining an a cappella group for a new singing competition show could be his last chance at real fame—unless the college boy from the heart of the country messes it up for him. Lucas Norwood is everything gothy, glittery Cody is not—conservative, clean-cut, and virginal. But when a twist in the show forces them together, even the sweetest songs get steamy as the attraction between them lights up the stage. Lucas wants to take it slow, but Cody’s singing a different tune—and this time it may be a love song…

How about a little taste?

The bass singer was gay. Cody wiggled his hips in an exaggerated move that always got him company on dance floors, waited a beat, and … there. Right on cue, the curly-haired singer gave him another sidelong glance.

A straight dude might grant Cody the occasional double take because, yeah, it was damn hard to ignore Cody’s style of fabulousness. Today, for example, the style gods had smiled on him—his hair was the perfect combination of deliberate spikes and casual falls, the silver specks in his eyeliner complemented his studded leather belt, and his red skinny jeans showed off his ass. So when the bass’s double take had turned into something more like a quintuple take, Cody knew what those lingering glances meant. Knew it despite the fact that the bass looked fresh off the farm, all wholesome and rosy-cheeked and wearing a tie/sweater vest combo perfect for performing in a church choir.

Crash. The bass missed a step, sending a speaker skidding across the stage. One of the camera guys groaned. On second thought, maybe the bass hadn’t been checking out Cody. Maybe he had trouble controlling his big blue eyes the same way he had trouble controlling his big-assed feet.

Whatever the dude was, he was screwing up Cody’s big break. Twitchy farmer boy and the rest of his all-boy group had screwed up multiple run-throughs of the opening number for the new season of Perfect Harmony. No one would notice Cody’s singing if the other groups kept crashing into one another and losing the chorus. He’d worked damn hard to earn this solo, and he didn’t need farmer boy messing it up with his clodhopper feet that kept tripping over thin air.

My Review:
4.5 Stars for this contemporary M/M New Adult romance.

Cody is a 23 y/o goth/glam singer trying to make it in LA. He’s barely coasting with a van nearly his own age stuffed full of his belongings, couch-surfing until he can land some more gigs. His newest gig is the lead vocalist of an acapella singing group on the reality show, Perfect Harmony.  He’s already figured out the ins-and-outs of surviving this competition, and it might-could involve some private time with one of the assistant directors. And, no matter what, Cody’s not going to seduce that clod-hopper of a corn-fed Iowa bass who keeps giving him the eye.

Lucas is a 21 y/o out gay man, but he’s a virgin. He’s never even shared a kiss with another man. He attends a conservative college and is the poster boy for his father’s religious writings; essentially, he’s signed on to the school’s morality code–that he will save his virginity for marriage. While his parents accept his sexuality, they want for him to find a sweet, kind gay man to spend his life with; Lucas is attracted to men who are not quite sweet and probably not kind. Being part of the competition puts Lucas in direct contact with all sorts of flamboyant persons, and, unfortunately, Cody is exactly Lucas’ type.

These two are an odd couple, indeed. Cody’s almost horrified at Lucas’ lack of experience. He can’t bear the crap way Lucas’ singing group treats him, however, and he helps Lucas learn the choreography steps he needs. Their interactions are definitely fraught with sexual tension, but they are also filled with misunderstanding, and a bit of prejudice. Lucas really has a lot of trouble accepting himself as gay–as an adult who can and should make his own decisions regarding his sex life. I really loved how Cody called him on this, and also how Lucas didn’t simply dismiss it.

I was raised in a very conservative church environment, and knew many people who committed to abstinence/celibacy. Lucas and his friends reminded me so much of them. He’s got a lot of expectations to be a moral and upstanding gay man, one who indulges in nothing. I could sense that pressure, from his group, friends and parents. Having Cody, the physical embodiment of many of his desires, so close, and so willing to be more than a dancing coach, was the ultimate temptation.

I don’t want to reveal too much of the plot, but it simmers with attraction, desire and self-denial. Cody is willing to play into some of Lucas’ fantasies, but he is a demanding lover, too–and he wants Lucas to grasp what he is missing by shielding himself from experimentation. All Lucas’ friends continue to warn him off Cody–thinking that Cody will corrupt him, but Lucas believes he can’t really be corrupted, having long since understood that he has been corrupting himself for years, assuaging his unhealthy desire with raunchy porn. There are many challenges to Lucas’ morality code–and his broadening experience is crammed with revelation. I loved how Lucas took charge of himself. He more than desires Cody; over the weeks of intense connection he develops love for him, and is shattered when it seems that Cody is willing to prostitute himself for an advantage in the show.

Meanwhile, Cody learns a lot about himself, and his own desires. He has always been a lone wolf, but working with his group, and Lucas, gives him a greater goal outside of his own self. It creates a need for community that he has eschewed since he left home the night of his high school graduation. I really enjoyed how vulnerable he made himself, and also how that dovetailed with Lucas embracing his own path–separate from the promises he made as an untried child.

I also dug how Lucas’ parents reacted to his newly-asserted independence. They could have been obstructive, but it didn’t happen that way. The book doesn’t end with the standard “finale” win, and I liked that, too. I was so glad, actually, that these folks got to live out their new dreams because I think I’d have been sad if it all crumbled and only Lucas and Cody remained. I did enjoy the behind-the-scenes of the TV show, and all the strategy involved.

Interested? You can find TREBLE MAKER on Goodreads, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble. I received an ARC of this book for review via NetGalley.

****GIVEAWAY****

Click the Rafflecopter link below for your chance to win a $20 Amazon gift card.
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Annabeth AlbertAbout the Author:
Annabeth Albert grew up sneaking romance novels under the bed covers. Now, she devours all subgenres of romance out in the open—no flashlights required! When she’s not adding to her keeper shelf, she’s a multi-published Pacific Northwest romance writer.

Emotionally complex, sexy, and funny stories are her favorites both to read and to write. Annabeth loves finding happy endings for a variety of pairings and is a passionate gay rights supporter. In between searching out dark heroes to redeem, she works a rewarding day job and wrangles two toddlers.

You can catch up with Annabeth online on her website, Goodreads, twitter and Facebook.

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Cephalopod Coffehouse July 2015–LOVE SPELL–A Review

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Hi there! Welcome one and all to the Cephalopod Coffeehouse, a cozy gathering of book lovers, meeting to discuss their thoughts regarding the tomes they enjoyed most over the previous month. Pull up a chair, order your cappuccino and join in the fun.

Hi all! Today I’m sharing my review for LOVE SPELL by Mia Kerick. This is a contemporary YA M/M romance which is wholly clean and really compelling. Chance is a gender-fluid teen–that means he’s as likely to dress male or female. He’s confident that he’s gay, and 58% (or so) sure that he’s not transgender, but he really doesn’t want to think about it. Or talk about it. He just wants to find the right guy, and he’s pretty sure (probably 95%) that this right guy is Jasper.

Love SpellMy Review:
Chance Cesar is an out gay teen, a senior in his rural New Hampshire high school and the new Miss Harvest Moon. That’s right, he was voted to be the pageant queen, as a cruel joke, but he werks it, strutting down the aisle in an orange tux and black pumps. That’s how we meet Chance, and henceforth his fabulousness cannot be denied.

Chance has always known he’s attracted to boys/men, but he’s still not clear on his gender identity. He struggles with his daily wardrobe–dress or pants–and he wants a boyfriend. A nice boyfriend. He kinda has his heart set on a boy from the vocational school, Jasper Donahue. “Jazz,” as Chance dubs him, is a burly boy with lots of responsibilities. He works to help support his mother and sister, and when he isn’t working, he’s babysitting his sister so his mom can work. Still, Chance is smitten, and he’s not even sure if Jazz swings his direction. Jazz seems to invite Chance’s attention, but there is no clear movement into Boyfriendland. All the discussions and intimate moments could be construed as simple friendliness.

So, Chance comes up with The Plan–well it’s more like The List for The Plan–of ten things to do to capture the heart of a boy. He spends weeks getting to know Jazz, hooking him in–if he can–and having hilarious misadventures. At the heart of this is a serious connection that Chance needs to make with himself, coming to terms with his gender and how that might affect a potential partner. Chance is a reliable narrator, and his narration is funny. He’s a diva, and his brilliance is often overwhelming to his objective: getting Jazz to love him. Thing is, he is super insecure, and that softens his manic edges. It’s a lot Notting Hill, with a boy standing in front of a boy, asking him to love him. This is a completely innocent book, sexually. The romance appears to be completely one-sided but it develops into a very tender friendship as Chance learns to love, and to give love, for no other reason than to help Jazz find happiness. Also, I enjoyed how Chance saw Jazz’s life, and how his privilege of money didn’t make for near as happy a home as Jazz’s criminally broke but bursting with love family.

I think the Love Spell part of it was rather short, and not the main focus, at all. It was great to walk through Chance’s gender-fluid shoes and get a better sense of the insecurity and frustration of not really KNOWING if he was a he-girl or a she-boy or somewhere in the middle, and I’m certain it will resonate with questioning teens. This is the second LGBTQ YA novel I’ve read from Ms. Kerick and the characters are always intense and sincere with real life plights that are honestly told. It took me a little time to settle into Chance’s voice because he’s got a flamboyant speech pattern, which is part of his quirky charm.

Interested? You can find LOVE SPELL on Goodreads, Amazon, Cool Dudes Publishing, and Barnes & Noble.

Thanks for popping in! Don’t forget to check out my fellow Coffeehouse reviewers, too!

Building a LIFE, SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED–A Review

Hi there! Today I’m sharing my review of a new contemporary M/M romance from Kaje Harper. LIFE, SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED is a sequel that can be read as a standalone. It relates the mundane acts of a newly out gay couple as the traverse the hate-infested waters–and everyday occurrences of life–in a way that is anything but mundane. I really liked it.

imageAbout the book:
Finding love in the ashes was easy. Building a life together? Don’t make Fate laugh.

After spending the first part of his life chasing pretty girls, love has finally come to Ryan in the form of John, a tall, lanky, red-headed landscape architect with wide shoulders and a five-o’clock shadow.

For the first time in his life, love feels easy. Hell, he even ran into a burning building for John and his son, and he’d do it again if he had to. But telling his father and brothers “I’m gay. I’ve met a man”? That’s a bumpy ride he’s not looking forward to.

For John, loving Ryan is as natural as breathing. Now if only the rest of his life would fall into place. Dealing with his teen son is complicated enough, but with his ex-wife causing trouble and his daughter wanting to move in, John’s house—and his relationship with Ryan—threaten to split at the seams.

Would one month without a new surprise knocking him upside the heart be asking too much? If the sound of Fate’s laughter is any indication, the answer must be yes…

Product Warnings: Contains two formerly straight guys learning to navigate the gay-guy waters, sometimes without a paddle. Plus six kinds of family ensuring nothing comes easy.

My Review:
This is the second book in a series, and I read it as a standalone. I think the reader loses nothing in doing so. I had a brief recap of the previous book in this one, and I’m kinda glad I skipped that book, on account of I get triggers over evil-scientist plots….but that’s MY issue.

John and Ryan are two men who have always had straight relationships but have recently embarked on a relationship with each other. They came to terms with their bisexuality in the first book, and are just trying to figure this “gay thing” out. This causes a lot of conflict within their families.

John is a divorced man with two teenaged children, Mark and Torey. He doesn’t have joint custody, but Mark had run to John in the previous book, and currently lives with John and Ryan, with his mother’s grudging permission. John’s ex, Cynthia, is not cool with the “gay thing”–she and her husband are blatantly homophobic. Cynthia lives in LA with Torey, and John tries to keep a decent relationship for his daughter’s sake.

Ryan’s family is mixed; one brother is totally okay with his orientation, his father and other brother are not. Well, dad’s kinda okay, and he gets better, but Brent is really hostile. I had to give props to his bride-to-be, Anne, who makes Brent adjust his attitude.

Ryan and John are stable, and love each other, but they have a lot of stress–Ryan is a medical student, recovering from burn injuries suffered as a fire fighter. He had recently saved Mark from a fire, and John, Ryan and Mark suffer nightmares over that ordeal. John is a parent, and has the associated parental worries, especially as Mark begins to close in emotionally, and Torey’s calls from LA are becoming more regular and more upsetting–she hates her stepfather, and Cynthia is sick with pregnancy issues (and perhaps depression).

The stress peaks when Torey and Cynthia turn up on their Wisconsin doorstep, essentially destitute. Ryan is afraid that John will reconnect with his pregnant ex, and all his heart will be broken–plus he will have come out and estranged himself for nothing. John is a stalwart and the best kind of man. He only cares for Cynthia in that she’s the mother of his kids and soon to deliver his kids’ half-sister. His love is really more of agape, than amore. I didn’t wonder much regarding Ryan’s angst. Both Mark and Torey really like Ryan, and want him to remain their dad’s partner–and perhaps more.

This book is big on reality. It deals with the mundane in an approachable way. Life is messy, and Ryan and John’s life is especially messy. At times I wondered if the stress would break them apart, but they consistently took steps to come closer; even if Ryan’s motives seem selfish. It’s funny, though. People say love is selfless, and it isn’t always. Motives can indeed be selfish, and still be the right thing to do. Ryan has a right to be suspicious of Cynthia’s motives. She is a crafty gal, and focused on finding a good provider for her infant–and John is a demonstrated good provider.

The end of this book is not the end of this story, I’m sure, but it does end with a solid resolution and a solid HEA. There are some nice sexytimes that, again, are realistic. First times and fun times and aborted missions…which only drew me into this relationship more. I think there were plenty of ways for this book to go wrong, to get melodramatic and absurd, but it never did. It stayed the course and captivated me.

Interested? You can find LIFE, SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED on Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Samhain Publishing and AllRomance.

About the Author:
I live in Minnesota, where the two seasons are Snow-removal and Road-repair, the mosquito is the state bird, and where sometimes in winter it can be breathtakingly beautiful. Of course, the deepfreeze chill contributes to the breath-taking, but Minnesota’s a kindly, quiet place and it’s home to me now. I’ve been writing for far longer than I care to admit (*whispers – forty years*), mostly for my own entertainment, and currently am focused on M/M romance (with added mystery, fantasy, history, SciFi…) I also have a few Young Adult stories released under the pen name Kira Harp.

My first professionally published book, Life Lessons, came out from MLR Press in May 2011. My husband finally convinced me that after all that time writing, I really should submit something, somewhere. I was thrilled when it was accepted. I have a weakness for closeted cops with honest hearts, and teachers who speak their minds, and I had fun writing the four novels and three freebie short stories in the series. I’ve been just delighted by the reception Mac and Tony have received.

My first free book became the first story that I actually released – I put it up a month before Life Lessons just for the fun of getting it out there. Lies and Consequences began as a reaction to the November 2010 election. It looked like the repeal of DADT might be derailed by the political shift and I put the insanity of that law into the book. Then as I was finishing the first draft in mid-December the repeal passed. Which was great, but prompted a rewrite to a lighter and more action/romance book. This was a solo effort and I learned a lot from writing and releasing it and from the reviews. Check Smashwords for that one and many of my other freebies.

I now have a decent backlist in ebooks and print, both free and professionally published. A complete list with links can be found on my Books page. This writing thing is addictive. So read, comment, tell me what you like and what you don’t, and help me make the upcoming books even better.

You can find me to chat on my author page here on Goodreads most easily – I hang out on Goodreads a lot because I moderate the Goodreads YA LGBT Books group there. I also post free short YA stories on that group, more than 50 of them so far.

You can also find me on my blog.

Thanks for popping in, and keep reading my friends!

Sweet Love: CITY SLICKER AT THE HORNY GOAT RANCH–A Review for Joyfully Jay

Hi there! Just want to share my latest review from over on Joyfully Jay. CITY SLICKER AT THE HORNY GOAT RANCH by Daisy Harris is a sweet, funny new adult M/M romance between a strapping young goat rancher and the city slicker land developer who moves in next door.

City SlickerAbout the book:

Keith Kelley doesn’t normally take kindly to strangers, but his flashy new neighbor has long legs, lips made for kissing and might prove too much temptation for a boy hiding his sexuality in rural Idaho. Unfortunately, between working his mom’s goat ranch and land disputes with his wealthy father, Keith has enough problems. He doesn’t need the best sex of his life threatening to expose his precarious secrets.

Real estate developer Max Levin vows to turn the one-stoplight town of Pookataw Valley into a quaint vacation destination…and then leave before the dust clears. Given his next assignment starts in five months, Max shouldn’t start loving the quaint little town—the ranchland, the mountains, even the goats. If only Max could stop thinking about his sexy neighbor and the time they shared in the front seat of Keith’s truck. Because he especially shouldn’t fall in love with a guy who can’t openly love him back.

In a town the size of Pookataw Valley, nothing stays secret for long. If Keith wants to hold onto his birthright, he’ll have to fight for his land and his pride. Most of all, he’ll have to fight for Max before he slips through Keith’s fingers.

Warning: contains angry parents, horny ranchers and snarky city boys just asking to be hogtied.

This is a light read that still has lots of heart. Both characters are good guys who need a solid partner, but are afraid to commit for valid reasons. Keith’s parents are not likely to be amenable. His relationship with his dad is already strained due to his continued assistance at his mother’s farm. Keith is due land from the family trust, which he could forfeit if he father is opposed to his lifestyle, and his mom might just kick him out if she finds out. Max doesn’t have the same issues, his parents have long known his orientation and don’t care at all, but he’s constantly on the move, developing real estate for his company. How can he ask a guy to settle down with him, when he’ll have to move every five or six months?

Check out my full review over on Joyfully Jay Reviews.

Thanks for popping in,a dn keep reading my friends!

Challenged to CARRY THE OCEAN–Review & Giveaway

Hi there! I’m so glad to join the blog tour for Heidi Cullinan’s newest release CARRY THE OCEAN. This is a contemporary M/M romance that absolutely smashes the common perceptions of depression and autism. I absolutely Fell. In. Love. with this book.

About the book:
Normal is just a setting on the dryer.

High school graduate Jeremey Samson is looking forward to burying his head under the covers and sleeping until it’s time to leave for college. Then a tornado named Emmet Washington enters his life. The double major in math and computer science is handsome, forward, wicked smart, interested in dating Jeremey—and he’s autistic.

But Jeremey doesn’t judge him for that. He’s too busy judging himself, as are his parents, who don’t believe in things like clinical depression. When his untreated illness reaches a critical breaking point, Emmet is the white knight who rescues him and brings him along as a roommate to The Roosevelt, a quirky new assisted living facility nearby.

As Jeremey finds his feet at The Roosevelt, Emmet slowly begins to believe he can be loved for the man he is behind the autism. But before he can trust enough to fall head over heels, he must trust his own conviction that friendship is a healing force, and love can overcome any obstacle.

Warning: Contains characters obsessed with trains and counting, positive representations of autism and mental illness, a very dark moment, and Elwood Blues.

My Review:
There are books that change people for the better. CARRY THE OCEAN is one of them. I know not everyone cares for gay fiction, but this book is phenomenal, and should be read by anyone who knows a person with depression, or autism. Or anyone who has heard of a person having depression or autism. Or anyone who has no idea what in the Sam Hill depression or autism are. You there, the guy with the hat! Yes, you! YOU should read this book!

Seriously.

Because this book is about humanity, and being a whole human even if your humanity is complicated by depression or autism.

Here’s why: for people who are on the outside of these diagnoses, you maybe can’t appreciate the person who struggles with them. That is not to say you can’t see and notice them, but getting the whole scope of their existence is difficult. Most people only SEE the diagnosis; the tics or flaps of autism, the withdrawn flat affect of a chronic depressive. Emmet and Jeremey are not caricatures of their diagnosis. They are flesh-and-bone young men who have dreams and aspirations of a life, a REAL adult life. And, love.

Emmet is a 19 y/o certified genius. He has a highly-functional level of autism that is both amazing (he can count cards and write computer programs) and daunting. He is easily overwhelmed by too many stimuli and has a whole menu of adaptations to keep him from acting out.

Add to all of these challenges, Emmet is also gay. He has never had a boyfriend, and was homeschooled most of his life. He moved to Jeremey’s neighborhood ten months before, so that he could attend Iowa State Univ. Emmet and Jeremey’s properties align in the back, split from each other by a railway line. Because Emmet is fascinated by trains, he spends a lot of time watching his backyard, and that’s how he spots Jeremey.

It took me ten months to meet Jeremey Sampson.

Emmet recognizes his limitations, and starting college and a friendship is too much. He does a little bit of online stalking to discover Jeremey’s identity all to one purpose:

I wanted to meet him and find out why he was sad. Maybe make him happy. But I couldn’t. The truth was, I had a crush on Jeremey Sampson. I didn’t want to just be his friend. I wanted to be his BOYfriend.

And this is a big problem because, despite being a genius, Emmet’s hampered by his diagnosis.

I also have autism spectrum disorder. It’s not even close to the most important thing about me, but as soon as people see me, watch me move, hear me speak, it’s the only thing that seems to matter. People treat me differently. They act as if I’m stupid or dangerous. They call me the R word or tell me I should be put in a home, and they mean an institution, not the house where I live.
When people find out I have autism, they don’t think I should be allowed to be in love, not with Jeremey, not with anyone.

Did anybody feel a truth bomb explode in that passage? *raises hand*

Emmet knows the “people on the mean,” the “normals” don’t consider him, an adult autistic person, as more than a half-person, not someone who might have great aspirations to live without being watched, to love a partner without backlash. It is increasingly complicated for Emmet to find a partner, because of his sexuality, but I can imagine this is difficult for any heterosexual autistic person, too. Still, his character is so incredibly brave. He makes all sorts of plans, rehearses his first words, trying to vary his inflections so that he sounds “normal” all for the moment that he gets the chance to speak to Jeremey.

It took me ten months to introduce myself to Jeremey Sampson. To learn and memorize the etiquette, to find the right words that would show ME to Jeremey, not my autism. It took a long time and a lot of work, but I did it.

But this is why I fell for Emmet: he doesn’t hate himself.

I shouldn’t have worried so much about it. Frankly, I’m awesome, and anybody who doesn’t agree should get out of my way.

I had to agree.

Until EmmetJeremey, is a another animal entirely.

When you have an invisible disease, your sickness isn’t your biggest problem. What you end up battling more than anything else, every single day, is other people.

Jeremey unequivocally suffers severe depression. He is withdrawn and struggles even to get out of bed. He’s also prone to panic attacks and clinical anxiety–which mostly happens in public places. He is 18, newly graduated from high school, and his parents (misguidedly) shove him at colleges–a place Jeremey knows he’ll never survive.

Mom wanted a bright, smiling, charming son….I wasn’t the son my mom wanted.

His parents, in some sort of denial, will not allow Jeremey to take medication. Meeting Emmet is a shock to his system, in the best way.

If Emmet thought I was a tool, he didn’t show it. He waited patiently, rocking gently on his heels, staring at the place beside my head. His posture was so odd. His shoulders were too high, and his hands were all twisted in front of him. Sometimes he moved them, but only for a moment, and then he’d go rigid again.
He was cute. His hair was light brown and a little long, fanning around his face like he was in a boy band.

Emmet’s not sure if Jeremey’s gay, but he’s willing to at least be a friend to Jeremey. They strike up a tenuous communication via text and email which leads to visits. Jeremey’s mother is especially critical of Jeremey’s association with Emmet, but she recognizes that no other kids want to hang around her son and begrudgingly allows it. Well, until their friendship progresses to something…more.
I think Jeremey said it perfectly:

People saw us walking down the street to the grocery store or wantdering the aisles of Wheatsfield and acted as if we were escapees from the Island of Adorable, puppies dressed up in people clothes. Like we weren’t boyfriends, like we were fake.
No wonder I feel alienated. They’re the ones telling me I’m not like everyone else. It doesn’t matter how normal I am, somebody’s ready to tell me I’m different.

Nonetheless, Jeremey’s mom wasn’t happy to learn that her son was gay, and especially not happy to have him “dating” an “R” word…

Cue the meltdown that leads to the next meltdown, that leads to Jeremey in dire straights. Here’s the thing: Emmet is a superhero, to me and Jeremey. He makes a plan to get independent, so that he and Jeremey can live together. Emmet recognizes the toxic environment in which Jeremey exists and wants to help him escape it. Not one step of this road is easy, and yet there is no angst; there is only struggle and the drive to overcome.

Couple things…whole people have whole lives, and this includes a sex life. Emmet, due to his autism, is an extremely forthright person. He cannot operate in subtlety, yet struggles to make his needs plain in speech. Emmet wants a sexual relationship with Jeremey, and Jeremey reciprocates this desire. I’m not going to belabor this, but it is freaking beautifully, tenderly rendered. Sex happens, and it’s on the page, and it’s not lewd. It is as honest as every other experience in this book. It probably comprises 0.05% of the text. The rest is a fantastic story about two young men being THEIR normal, and finding love, and plotting their way in a confusing, overwhelming world.

I’m glad to have read this book. It changed me in ways that will undoubtedly resonate for decades. I hope it changed me so much that my kids learn to act better to special needs people because they will see me act better to them. (Not that I’m a demeaning person or ever treated an autistic or depressed person in a mean fashion.) I think WE, people on the mean, have unfair ideas in our “normal” brains that isolate autistic or depressed people because we see only how different that they are from us without even beginning to question how they are the same.

CARRY THE OCEAN is not a challenging read, it simply challenges the reader to see persons with these diagnoses as equal, not other. As human, not diseases. That doesn’t mean the book is a downer. On the contrary, the deft writing keeps the story from getting mired in misery. There are definite high points, and a constant sense that the book will have an HEA. The humor is light, and quiet, but present. (Think /facepalm v. LOL!) So many times I found myself smiling and cheering from this side of the screen. If I ever meet Emmet and Jeremey IRL I’m not gonna look at them like puppies in people clothes, I’m going to respect them and their struggle. They would have certainly earned it.

Interested? You can find CARRY THE OCEAN on Goodreads, Samhain (ebook & paperback), All Romance Ebooks, Amazon US (ebook, paperback), Amazon UK, Barnes & Noble (Nook & paperback), Google Play, iTunes, Kobo. I received an advance copy of this book via NetGalley.

****GIVEAWAY****

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Good luck and keep reading my friends!

Heidi CullinanAbout the Author:

Heidi Cullinan has always loved a good love story, provided it has a happy ending. She enjoys writing across many genres but loves above all to write happy, romantic endings for LGBT characters because there just aren’t enough of those stories out there. When Heidi isn’t writing, she enjoys cooking, reading, knitting, listening to music, and watching television with her husband and teenaged daughter. Heidi is a vocal advocate for LGBT rights and is proud to be from the first Midwestern state with full marriage equality. Find out more about Heidi, including her social networks, at www.heidicullinan.com.

Thanks for popping in, and keep reading my friends!

Cover Reveal for MOMENT OF CLARITY

Hi there! Today I”m sharing in the cover reveal for the third book in Karen Stivali’s Moments in Time series. As you may remember, I loved MOMENT OF IMPACT and MOMENT OF TRUTH…so I’ve been waiting for MOMENT OF CLARITY to get out here already!

So, here it is!
Moment of Clarity hires copy
About the book:
Spending the summer together on Fire Island brought Collin and Tanner closer than ever, but back in their conservative college town, challenges confront them at every turn.

As they search for their new normal in their old environment, Collin’s brother Sean surprises them with help when they need it most. But when word about their relationship gets out, trouble erupts with friends and family. When Collin’s relationship with Tanner becomes an issue in his brother’s custody battle, and Tanner struggles with his feelings for a heartbroken Wendy, Collin wonders if everyone he cares about would be better off without him in the picture. In order to save them both, Tanner must make it clear to Collin that their love for each other is all that matters.

MOMENTS IN TIME is the paperback version and contains all three novellas (Moment Of Impact, Moment Of Truth and Moment Of Clarity) in one volume. Both will be available May 6th.

Interested? Both books are available for pre-order at Dreamspinner Press. Find Moment of Clarity in eBook, and Moments in Time in Paperback.

If you haven’t read the first two books in this series, you may want to catch up before MOMENT OF CLARITY drops. Check out my reviews of both MOMENT OF IMPACT and MOMENT OF TRUTH where you can also find the buy links!

Karen stivaliAbout the author:
Karen Stivali is a prolific writer, compulsive baker and chocoholic with a penchant for books, movies, and fictional British men. She’s also the multiple award-winning author of contemporary and erotic romances. Her lifelong fascination with people has led her to careers ranging from hand-drawn animator, to party planner, to marriage and family counselor, but writing has always been her passion. Karen enjoys nothing more than following her characters on their journey toward love. Whether the couples are m/f or m/m, it’s guaranteed that Karen’s novels are filled with food, friendship, love, and smoking hot sex–all the best things in life.

When Karen isn’t writing (and often when she is), she can be found on Twitter attempting witty banter and detailing the antics of her fruit-loving cat, BadKitteh. She loves to hear from readers (and other writers), so don’t hesitate to contact/follow/like her at twitter, Facebook, her website, Pinterest, and Goodreads. You can also email her here.

Thanks for popping in, and keep reading my friends!