Contemporary YA

Coming CLEAN to Live–Review and Giveaway

CLEAN-BANNER
Hi there! I’m so excited to share my review for CLEAN, Mia Kerick’s new edgy YA M/M coming of age story. This book is a very tough read, not because it’s written poorly, but because it portrays unflinching stories of sexual abuse, neglect and substance abuse in teens. As with all Ms. Kerick’s books, (THE RED SHEET, HARD DAY’S NIGHT), the characters are well-written and the story is filled with inconvenient truths.

Be sure to check out my review and enter to win a $10 GC.

CLEAN cover
About the book:
High school senior Lanny Keating has it all. A three-sport athlete at Lauserville High School looking at a college football scholarship, with a supportive family, stellar grades, boy band good looks… until the fateful day when it all falls apart.

Seventeen-year-old Trevor Ladd has always been a publicly declared zero and the high school bad-boy. Abandoned by his mother and sexually abused by his legal guardian, Trevor sets his sights on mere survival.

Lanny seeks out Trevor’s companionship to avoid his shattered home life. Unwilling to share their personal experiences of pain, the boys explore ways to escape, leading them into sexual experimentation, and the abuse of illegal drugs and alcohol. Their mutual suffering creates a lasting bond of friendship and love.

When the time finally comes to get clean and sober, or flunk out of high school, only one of the boys will graduate, while the other spirals downward into addiction.

Will Lanny and Trevor find the strength to battle their demons of mind-altering substances as well as emotional vulnerability?

Clean takes the reader on a gritty trip into the real and raw world of teenage substance abuse.

A little taste (from the Prologue):
Lanny

Trevor wouldn’t even look at me when I walked over to the gas station this morning to say hi. And Jimmy’s Fuel Stop is like three miles from my house so it took a major effort to walk there, especially since I’ve been feeling like total crap lately. Another one of my shaky human bonds bites the dust. I need to go out and get myself a cat.

“Can’t you see I’m working, Keating?” That was all he said. But I’ve always been good at reading between the lines. I could tell what he was thinking as he stood beside the gas pumps, totally caught up in not looking at me. “Take a hike before you get me fired, loser. Some of us got goals in life….” So I took off before he had a chance to make me feel like I shouldn’t have ever made an appearance on the planet earth. But I still know it would have been better had I never been born…maybe Joelle would still be okay.

It’s Saturday afternoon and nobody’s home. Mom and Dad are probably off at the park with Joelle, sloshing through the wet snow together so she gets her daily exercise. Or maybe they took her to the make- your-own-sundae-place to improve her fine motor skills by sprinkling sweet toppings on big scoops of ice cream. I’m in Mom and Dad’s bathroom, bent in half with my head stuck in the closet, searching the cluttered shelves for anything that will get me high enough to escape. And I mean anything.

That’s when I see the cough syrup. The bottle in front is almost new, and there’s an older bottle of a different brand right behind it, little more than halfway full. Seeing these medicine bottles reminds me of something Chad suggested about a week or two ago— that we should try robo-tripping. He told me that if we drink enough cough syrup, the DXM in it would get us high in a “super blissful, tingling-body-parts way,” which sounded pretty decent to me then and still does now. Not completely surprised I remembered Chad’s exact description of a DXM high, I thank God for this dextromethorphan stuff that suppresses nasty coughs, because it looks like I’m going to find my much-needed buzz after all.

Pleased that I don’t have to resort to sniffing glue from the tube on my father’s basement workbench or huffing my mother’s hairspray—and believe me I came close—I snatch the bottles with a shaky hand. They’re both sticky with the syrup that dripped down the side last time one of the Keating’s had a major head cold accompanied by a hacking cough. Licking my fingers provides me with a hint of the cherry flavor I’m probably going to be barfing up later tonight. But I don’t care. I can’t get through a single day without some help, and by that I don’t mean help from my human friends, seeing as I have none left.

The walk to the shed seems longer than ever. It’s an effort to so much as put one foot in front of the other. I haven’t eaten anything for a full day; I’m sure that’s why I feel like such crap. And it’s not like I want to think about this stuff, but I can’t stop myself. The “stuff” I don’t want to think about is really people. The people I have hurt so much lately because of my bad habits.

This list starts with my little sister Joelle, who I told to “stuff a sock in it” when she asked me to read that goddamned book about a kid going to school—for the zillionth time! “School’s not all it’s cracked up to be, Jo. Stop being so damned excited about it! Those kids are gonna tear you to pieces and won’t even wait until you turn your back to do it!” It hurts too much to remember the expression on her face right after I told her that, so instead I stare beyond the leafless trees into the gray sky and think about my parents.

I’ve hurt Mom and Dad a lot too, because they know I’m sick, they just don’t know exactly what’s wrong with me. And I’m not sure how much they care. Their plates are too full already with Joelle’s problems, I guess.

I glance down at the two bottles of cough medicine dangling from between my fingers and remember Chrissy and Robyn, who I use like toilet paper. They can do way better than me in the study-buddy department.

I trip over a root that crosses my path and fall to my knees, but just as quickly drag myself back to my feet. A stray root isn’t enough to stop me from getting to where I’m going.

I’m almost at the shed now, and I can’t avoid thinking about him any longer. Trevor hates me. He never calls anymore, never asks me to go to the shed to drink some beer and fool around. He just looks at me in the hallway at school with angry disgusted eyes, and tells me every chance he gets “you’re fucking up your life and I’m not gonna let you fuck up mine.”

Trevor Ladd…the ultimate untouchable. If I could’ve made somebody like him want to be with me, I would’ve surely been able to win my parents back. Well, no such luck. I’m more of a zero to Trevor than I ever was…and Mom and Dad still don’t care.

Blew my entire life sky high. Which is where I’ll be soon, if all goes according to plan. I lift each bottle of sticky sweet cough medicine to my lips and kiss them, one by one.

Just the sight of the tiny, beat-up brown shed fills me with an indescribable sense of relief, probably like the feeling of coming home after years at sea. As soon as I push open the door, I see that Trevor isn’t here and I’m illogically disappointed. But Trevor can’t save me from myself. He did his duty; he tried to get me clean, and he got clean in the process.

Way to go, Trevor.

Alone in a frigid shed in the middle of the woods, I’m more than eager to suck down a couple bottles of cough medicine so I can be somewhere else…someone else. A vision of Landon Keating forms in my mind—not Lanny, the student, or Lanny, the athlete, or Lanny, the son and brother—but the near-future version of me when I’m “simultaneously mellow and stimulated,” if the online experiences I’ve read about taking DXM are accurate. Sad truth is, I’ll take just plain disoriented. Any effect will be fine if it whisks me away.

I drop down to the cold floor and without ceremony open one of the small bottles. The cough medicine goes down more easily than I thought.

Cherry-berry-sweet-thick-burning-soothing- pleasure-pain. It doesn’t take too long.

Itchy as hell…belly’s on fire….

“Read to me, Lanny…read it again!

”Can’t feel my legs at all….

“Wishes don’t wash dishes, son.”

Can’t stop barfing…. So sick….

“Take a hike, Keating—you filthy, no-good, loser boozer-druggie!”

Blew it with Trevor…blew it with everybody.

Can’t breathe…need a breath….

Gonna die here alone.

My Review:
Landon was a great student and star athlete with everything going for him until his young sister was hit by a car. She survived, but with severe handicaps, and Lanny’s family has become all about Joelle and her care. His overwhelmed and overwrought parents are angry and hostile, and don’t even bother to acknowledge Lanny most days. Lanny and his parents share guilt and blame for the tragedy of Joelle’s accident, and Lanny takes it super hard. He turns to alcohol to hide his pain, and he gets his alcohol from the school bad-boy, Trevor.

Trevor is a burn out. He lives each day in fear, and resignation, of the continuing sexual abuse he’s endured since he was twelve and his mother abandoned him with her friend, Carl. When he can, Trevor seeks oblivion via alcohol and pot. And Lanny, the angel-faced “clean” boy that sometimes lurks in Carl’s gardening shed with him. When they are drunk, it’s easy to seek other releases, and Trevor’s easily able to direct some impersonal (non-penetrative) sex between them.

Lanny feels like Trevor’s the only person in his life who sees him. Trevor’s too afraid to love anyone, and doesn’t believe he’s worthy of love, in any case. That said, he sees how far Lanny is slipping–he’s been kicked off the football team, he’s failing classes and he spends every night getting bombed. Soon they move on to pills, supplied by a mutual friend. Trevor knows his only way out of Carl’s lecherous grasp is death, or cleaning up and graduating high school. He tries to get Lanny to clean out, too, but Lanny’s not having it.

Expect things to get worse. Expect there to be real terror on the pages, especially for Trevor when he discovers just how far gone Lanny is.

This story is a story of redemption. It is an honest and harrowing tale of hitting rock bottom, and surviving. The first half is the descent, and the second half is the rise, and it’s not an easy road on either side. Yet, it was told brilliantly, with Lanny rediscovering himself, and his family becoming a strong and supportive unit again. Lanny does what Trevor can’t–forgive himself. And his recovery is well-defined in the general Twelve Step way. This may be a YA tale, but the truth of it applies to people at all ages and stages.

It is also an M/M tale–a dash of romance. Lanny is definitely attracted to Trevor, and acknowledges that he is gay. Trevor was not sure of his orientation–he’s not attracted to Carl in the least–but he does acknowledge that he’s attracted to Lanny, and feels the most love for him that he has of any of the few people who’ve been in his life. There is some sexuality on the page–most consensual, some abuse. Both are told honestly and without glorification.

Part of Lanny’s recovery is making amends for his use and abuse of Trevor, who is dumbstruck that Lanny feels any need to apologize. Trevor’s been mired in guilt over ever giving Lanny any substances to abuse in the first place. Lanny’s steadfast determination to be a real friend to Trevor, not an escape, allows both boys to come to terms with the ills of their past. I adored how very healthy all of this was, and how it engendered a real and beneficial relationship.

At no point did I feel there was any shortcut or glossing over of the tragedy and healing in this story. I think the writing was excellent, if unconventional. Trevor’s POV pages are especially fraught with his fragmented internal narrative. He’s contrary and cagey, and always looking to defend himself and his emotions by denying them. He’s honest with Lanny about being a liar–having hidden so much of himself, never believing that anyone could (or would) want to help him–that he is dirty, filthy, unlovable and unwholesome because of his abuse. It made for a very poignant counterpoint to Lanny’s squeaky-clean, but detached family.

I always struggle to read books that feature abuse of a minor, because I’m a mom, and I hate that this happens IRL. Reading is my escape from MY everyday problems, in many cases, so I prefer the lighter fare. That said, an intense read like CLEAN serves a very important purpose in highlighting the experiences of people who are very different, and often very troubled. CLEAN is fantastic. I hope that it finds readers who have the courage, like Lanny and Trevor, to be present and be counted. To not give up, and to do the hard work necessary to do better than just survive the experience.

Lanny and Trevor discover that life is hard, but very very worth it.

Interested? You can find CLEAN on Goodreads, and Amazon (US, UK, CA and AU).

****GIVEAWAY****

Click the Rafflecopter link below for your chance to win a $10 Amazon gift card.
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Good luck and keep reading my friends!

About the Author:
Mia Kerick is the mother of four exceptional children—all named after saints—and five nonpedigreed cats—all named after the next best thing to saints, Boston Red Sox players. Her husband of twenty-two years has been told by many that he has the patience of Job, but don’t ask Mia about that, as it is a sensitive subject.

Mia focuses her stories on the emotional growth of troubled young people and their relationships, and she believes that physical intimacy has a place in a love story, but not until it is firmly established as a love story. As a teen, Mia filled spiral-bound notebooks with romantic tales of tortured heroes (most of whom happened to strongly resemble lead vocalists of 1980s big-hair bands) and stuffed them under her mattress for safekeeping. She is thankful to Dreamspinner Press, Harmony Ink Press, and CreateSpace for providing her with alternate places to stash her stories.

Mia is a social liberal and cheers for each and every victory made in the name of human rights, especially marital equality. Her only major regret: never having taken typing or computer class in school, destining her to a life consumed with two-fingered pecking and constant prayer to the Gods of Technology.

Where to find Mia online: Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads.

pride

Cephalopod Coffeehouse November 2015–NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST

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Hi there! Welcome one and all to the Cephalopod Coffeehouse, a cozy gathering of book lovers, meeting to discuss their thoughts regarding the tomes they enjoyed most over the previous month. Pull up a chair, order your cappuccino and join in the fun.

This month I’m reviewing a contemporary YA story that’s due to release next week, NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST from Eric Lindstrom. Put it on your list of books to get for anyone who enjoys a well-told story about a girl just making her way through life, and getting into some scrapes along the way. Oh, and the main character, Parker, well, she gets into more scrapes than most because…she’s blind.

Not If I See You FirstAbout the book:

The Rules:

Don’t deceive me. Ever. Especially using my blindness. Especially in public.

Don’t help me unless I ask. Otherwise you’re just getting in my way or bothering me.

Don’t be weird. Seriously, other than having my eyes closed all the time, I’m just like you only smarter.

Parker Grant doesn’t need 20/20 vision to see right through you. That’s why she created the Rules: Don’t treat her any differently just because she’s blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances. Just ask Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart.

When Scott suddenly reappears in her life after being gone for years, Parker knows there’s only one way to react-shun him so hard it hurts. She has enough on her mind already, like trying out for the track team (that’s right, her eyes don’t work but her legs still do), doling out tough-love advice to her painfully naive classmates, and giving herself gold stars for every day she hasn’t cried since her dad’s death three months ago. But avoiding her past quickly proves impossible, and the more Parker learns about what really happened–both with Scott, and her dad–the more she starts to question if things are always as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, some Rules are meant to be broken.

My Review:

Parker Grant lost her mother and her eyesight in a car crash when she was 8. She developed strong friendships and an even stronger bond with her father in the last 8 years. Unfortunately, Parker’s father died three months ago and her aunt’s family has moved across the country to live in her home, with her. Parker’s developed some tough rules, meant to protect her heart, and also her mind–especially after Scott–her former best friend and maybe first love, crushed her back in eighth grade.

It’s junior year and Scott has returned to Parker’s high school. Their small town has combined two schools into one, actually, which means there are lots of new people and new situations for Parker to encounter. She meets a new “buddy” Molly, a chaperone who helps her navigate the school day. Parker and Molly strike it off, mostly because Molly’s willing to be honest with Parker–whose default setting is brutal honesty. Parker wants to be treated like a regular kid, and she strives for this. It’s what draws her to Jason, a decent guy who treats her decently.

While Parker’s life is filled with people, she’s still rather solitary. She spends a lot of time with her young cousin, Petey, and none at all with her other cousin, Sheila, despite them being the same age and being in school together. All the school politics are on display, and despite a spark between Parker and Jason, it’s clear that Scott is still in the picture, too. Always on the fringes, Scott’s filling in the gaps he knows were left behind with Parker’s father died.

I really admired Parker. She’s brash, with the understanding that it’s not easy being disabled, and it’s even worse to be considered ‘less than’ because of her disability. She makes new and unlikely friends, and tries even more unlikely feats, including running. It’s refreshing to see how she navigates the world around her, and the high school foibles–including first dates and kisses. For all her outward strength, she’s a deeply thinking girl, and willing to own up to her mistakes–when she’s able to confront them. Her unflinching honesty can be abrasive, but she applies that to herself just as much as to others.

In a litscape filled with ordinary people, Parker shines in her extraordinary will to be as normal as possible. This is a story that doesn’t have a sweeping grand gesture, more like a series of realizations that don’t lead to reconciliations. Which was perfectly acceptable. As Scott and Parker recognize: they are not their 8th grade selves anymore, and what they had then is very different from what they have now. There is 2+ years of animosity and betrayal to overcome, and it’s not flipping a switch to turn back time and reconnect. That was a striking moment for both Parker, and the reader.

So many times YA stories are too convenient, with some mid-level conflict that is easily resolved. Nothing in this book is convenient or contrived. Parker’s cousin Sheila isn’t kind. Parker’s friends are a mixture of races, genders and sexualities with really different personalities. Parker’s aunt is rigid and easily offended–not able to cope with Parker’s need for autonomy. So, it’s all a big trial for Parker, to cobble all this scrip-scrap bits of life together into a patchwork quilt of people to support and love her. Including Scott.

Interested? NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST releases Dec 1st, but you can find out more about it on Goodreads, and pre-order it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Powell’s Books. This first 9 chapters are up on Amazon and B & N for a free preview, in case you want to just check it out…

Thanks for popping in. Don’t forget to check out the other reviewers on this month’s blog hop. They always have great books to discover.

Death by the SWORD?-Review and Giveaway

Sword blitz bannerHi there! Today I’m sharing my review for a contemporary retelling of Camelot. SWORD, by Realm Lovejoy, is a YA re-imagining of the mystical Camelot stories, with the Morgan LeFay being the unlikely heroine. I really enjoyed the first book in this series, HENGE, and was excited to see how the story progressed.

Check out the excerpt, my review and enter to win a $25 Amazon GC or one of 6 ecopies of SWORD.

Sword (Le Fay, #2)About the book:
Evil lurks. Camelot sits, vulnerable. The fate of a future king hangs in the balance.

After surviving a string of brutal trials, sixteen-year-old Morgan Le Fay is an official member of Camelot. But beneath its shining façade, Camelot is a crumbling government where loyalties are divided.

Nobody believes Morgan’s suspicions that enemies are closing in. Prince Arthur, a boy more interested in playing video games than ruling, will not listen to her, and neither will Lancelot, Camelot’s head of security. Even Morgan’s friend Merlin refuses to take action.

When Morgan discovers that someone is plotting to assassinate the future king, she must take her destiny—and his—into her own hands. With the sword Excalibur beckoning in the distance, Morgan embarks on a seemingly impossible mission. And before her journey ends, everyone will know what she is truly capable of . . .

In this second book in the LE FAY series, author Realm Lovejoy takes readers deep into the heart of a splintering Camelot.
________

Praise for the first book in the LE FAY series, Henge:

“Camelot meets Hogwarts meets Panem in this intriguing, well-written beginning to a planned YA series.”–Kirkus Reviews

How about a little taste?

When I glance at Lancelot, he is studying me like he thinks I’ve gone mad, and it occurs to me I probably have a dark expression over my face.

“Look,” Lancelot says, bowing his head slightly. “Before the final trial, I told you that I wanted you to not think of me as the High Knight behind closed doors. That maybe we could be friends. I’m not sure if what I thought at the time is possible, but for one minute, let me be an ordinary person interested in your well-being. You are too hard on yourself. You have a bright future, though you may not see it right now. I see it.” He puts his hand on his chest to emphasize his conviction.

Seeing him friendlier makes me squirm—it’s somehow worse than when he’s being tough on me. I want to scream and run out of the room and over the hills.

He walks closer to me and I’m afraid he’ll smell my sweat.

“You’re tortured to hear this,” he says as if he can see through me. “I don’t know what happened to you in the past and what you’re suffering from, but if you could just trust me, I’ll prove to you that you’ll find a fulfilling career in Camelot.”

Turning my head, I hold my thin gown closer against my chest, afraid that it’s not enough cover.

“Please,” I say. “I appreciate your words, but you don’t understand—”

There is a knock at the opened door. Father peers in.

“Everything okay?” he asks sharply.

He glances at me before eyeing Lancelot.

“Everything is fine, sir,” Lancelot replies and steps away from me. “Good day, Ms. Le Fay. Glad we have an understanding.”

I catch the questioning look Father gives Lancelot. For a second Lancelot looks insecure as he slumps his shoulders just a tiny bit. I realize then that Father intimidates Lancelot. Father was once a highly respected knight himself. Lancelot is still young after all, especially for the High Knight.

Lancelot gives me a curt nod as Father guides him out.

“Apologies for the intrusion, sir,” Lancelot says.

Father doesn’t look happy. “I understand your job. I once had to do similar tasks myself.”

As I hear their footsteps recede, I am left to face dread. I don’t know what ideas will spring from my mind to deal with this conundrum. But I know whatever course of action I choose to take will be my worst and best idea—terrible and unstoppable, like a forest fire. I know this but cannot do anything about it, just as a drowning person cannot help but try to stay afloat to breathe. This is my attempt to take a breath before sinking. To push past that strong current that keeps me in one place.

I take the statue of Astolat off my nightstand and hold on to her.

“Please… please,” I whisper to her. “Don’t let me…”

Don’t let me what?

What am I afraid of doing?

As my room darkens, the question haunts me.

My Review:
This is the second book in the LeFay series, and really should be be read in order.

Morgan LeFay is a gifted 16 year old, one of the strongest magic wielders in Camelot, and still, she was not selected to be the Maven, adviser to young Prince Arthur. No, that duty was awarded to Merlin, a boy in Morgan’s class who was clearly infatuated with her. But, Merlin’s got a checkered association with the Luminaries, a sect of magic wielders who seek to bring down the House of Pendragon, of which Arthur and King Uther are sprung. Being Maven seems a supreme conflict of interest for Merlin, and Morgan’s both frustrated and jealous.

And, depressed. Morgan returns to her father’s home to sulk instead of assuming her post as a Black Knight under the command of High Knight Lancelot. Lancelot comes to pry her from her sorrow, and it sets off a chain of events that I did not see coming. Morgan’s soon on the run–with Prince Arthur, a sulky teen if ever I read one, and searching high and low for the mystical Excalibur. The trip is dangerous, and Morgan has certainly signed her own death warrant by making this trip. It’s really a mission, one that she hopes will save Arthur from a Luminary plot. And she’s pledged her life to protecting Arthur.

The endearment that arises between them is good. It wasn’t sappy or anything. Arthur is a bit of a pill–he’s 14 and it shows–and he only slightly warms to Morgan in their adventure. He grows up A LOT in this experience. I liked that part. Lancelot and Merlin have very mixed feelings about Morgan. On one hand she’s a traitor, on the other she could be a patriot. And the murk surrounding the Luminaries plans keeps Morgan on a path to execution. Well, maybe.

This is a story that kept me guessing, and I felt engaged throughout. It’s a rather innocent tale, and a bit melancholy. I was grieved when Morgan was arrested, and felt that her new status, as a bearer of Pendragon’s Blessing, would have saved her, but it was not the case. The end is a fast and furious ride that includes a stay of execution in the most dire of ways. Arthur and Morgan have some reckonings to make, and I am eager to see how this plays out in the next book in this series. I also wonder how both Merlin and Lancelot will handle their feelings for Morgan going forward. I’m not certain that it qualifies as a “love triangle” as Morgan has only discovered romantic feelings, and they are set on one man–the one she cannot have. The resolution is sufficient for this volume, but the story remains active. Definitely recommend!

Interested? You can find SWORD on Goodreads  and Amazon.

****GIVEAWAY****

Click the Rafflecopter link below for your chance to win a $25 Amazon GC or one of 6 ecopies of SWORD!
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Good luck and keep reading my friends!


About the Author

Realm Lovejoy is a writer and an artist. She was raised in Washington State and the alps of Nagano, Japan. Her father is a Japanese ex-monk and her mother an English teacher from Rhode Island. Her art is influenced by both the East and the West.

Realm aspires to tell stories through her writing and art. She is agented by Jessica Regel. Her YA Sci-Fi book CLAN was released in 2013 and HENGE, the first book int he LeFay series was released in 2014.

Author Links: photo iconwebsite-32x32_zps1f477f69.png photo icongoodreads32_zps60f83491.png photo icontwitter-32x32_zpsae13e2b2.png photo iconfacebook-32x32_zps64a79d4a.png photo icontumblr-32x32_zps959818ca.png

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Cover Reveal! CLEAN by Mia Kerick

Clean Banner
Hi there! I’m so excited to reveal the cover for CLEAN, Mia Kerick’s new edgy YA M/M coming out story. So, without further ado…
CLEAN cover
About the book:
High school senior Lanny Keating has it all. A three-sport athlete at Lauserville High School looking at a college football scholarship, with a supportive family, stellar grades, boy band good looks… until the fateful day when it all falls apart.

Seventeen-year-old Trevor Ladd has always been a publicly declared zero and the high school bad-boy. Abandoned by his mother and sexually abused by his legal guardian, Trevor sets his sights on mere survival.

Lanny seeks out Trevor’s companionship to avoid his shattered home life. Unwilling to share their personal experiences of pain, the boys explore ways to escape, leading them into sexual experimentation, and the abuse of illegal drugs and alcohol. Their mutual suffering creates a lasting bond of friendship and love.

When the time finally comes to get clean and sober, or flunk out of high school, only one of the boys will graduate, while the other spirals downward into addiction.

Will Lanny and Trevor find the strength to battle their demons of mind-altering substances as well as emotional vulnerability?

Clean takes the reader on a gritty trip into the real and raw world of teenage substance abuse.

A little taste (from the Prologue):
Lanny

Trevor wouldn’t even look at me when I walked over to the gas station this morning to say hi. And Jimmy’s Fuel Stop is like three miles from my house so it took a major effort to walk there, especially since I’ve been feeling like total crap lately. Another one of my shaky human bonds bites the dust. I need to go out and get myself a cat.

“Can’t you see I’m working, Keating?” That was all he said. But I’ve always been good at reading between the lines. I could tell what he was thinking as he stood beside the gas pumps, totally caught up in not looking at me. “Take a hike before you get me fired, loser. Some of us got goals in life….” So I took off before he had a chance to make me feel like I shouldn’t have ever made an appearance on the planet earth. But I still know it would have been better had I never been born…maybe Joelle would still be okay.

It’s Saturday afternoon and nobody’s home. Mom and Dad are probably off at the park with Joelle, sloshing through the wet snow together so she gets her daily exercise. Or maybe they took her to the make- your-own-sundae-place to improve her fine motor skills by sprinkling sweet toppings on big scoops of ice cream. I’m in Mom and Dad’s bathroom, bent in half with my head stuck in the closet, searching the cluttered shelves for anything that will get me high enough to escape. And I mean anything.

That’s when I see the cough syrup. The bottle in front is almost new, and there’s an older bottle of a different brand right behind it, little more than halfway full. Seeing these medicine bottles reminds me of something Chad suggested about a week or two ago— that we should try robo-tripping. He told me that if we drink enough cough syrup, the DXM in it would get us high in a “super blissful, tingling-body-parts way,” which sounded pretty decent to me then and still does now. Not completely surprised I remembered Chad’s exact description of a DXM high, I thank God for this dextromethorphan stuff that suppresses nasty coughs, because it looks like I’m going to find my much-needed buzz after all.

Pleased that I don’t have to resort to sniffing glue from the tube on my father’s basement workbench or huffing my mother’s hairspray—and believe me I came close—I snatch the bottles with a shaky hand. They’re both sticky with the syrup that dripped down the side last time one of the Keating’s had a major head cold accompanied by a hacking cough. Licking my fingers provides me with a hint of the cherry flavor I’m probably going to be barfing up later tonight. But I don’t care. I can’t get through a single day without some help, and by that I don’t mean help from my human friends, seeing as I have none left.

The walk to the shed seems longer than ever. It’s an effort to so much as put one foot in front of the other. I haven’t eaten anything for a full day; I’m sure that’s why I feel like such crap. And it’s not like I want to think about this stuff, but I can’t stop myself. The “stuff” I don’t want to think about is really people. The people I have hurt so much lately because of my bad habits.

This list starts with my little sister Joelle, who I told to “stuff a sock in it” when she asked me to read that goddamned book about a kid going to school—for the zillionth time! “School’s not all it’s cracked up to be, Jo. Stop being so damned excited about it! Those kids are gonna tear you to pieces and won’t even wait until you turn your back to do it!” It hurts too much to remember the expression on her face right after I told her that, so instead I stare beyond the leafless trees into the gray sky and think about my parents.

I’ve hurt Mom and Dad a lot too, because they know I’m sick, they just don’t know exactly what’s wrong with me. And I’m not sure how much they care. Their plates are too full already with Joelle’s problems, I guess.

I glance down at the two bottles of cough medicine dangling from between my fingers and remember Chrissy and Robyn, who I use like toilet paper. They can do way better than me in the study-buddy department.

I trip over a root that crosses my path and fall to my knees, but just as quickly drag myself back to my feet. A stray root isn’t enough to stop me from getting to where I’m going.

I’m almost at the shed now, and I can’t avoid thinking about him any longer. Trevor hates me. He never calls anymore, never asks me to go to the shed to drink some beer and fool around. He just looks at me in the hallway at school with angry disgusted eyes, and tells me every chance he gets “you’re fucking up your life and I’m not gonna let you fuck up mine.”

Trevor Ladd…the ultimate untouchable. If I could’ve made somebody like him want to be with me, I would’ve surely been able to win my parents back. Well, no such luck. I’m more of a zero to Trevor than I ever was…and Mom and Dad still don’t care.

Blew my entire life sky high. Which is where I’ll be soon, if all goes according to plan. I lift each bottle of sticky sweet cough medicine to my lips and kiss them, one by one.

Just the sight of the tiny, beat-up brown shed fills me with an indescribable sense of relief, probably like the feeling of coming home after years at sea. As soon as I push open the door, I see that Trevor isn’t here and I’m illogically disappointed. But Trevor can’t save me from myself. He did his duty; he tried to get me clean, and he got clean in the process.

Way to go, Trevor.

Alone in a frigid shed in the middle of the woods, I’m more than eager to suck down a couple bottles of cough medicine so I can be somewhere else…someone else. A vision of Landon Keating forms in my mind—not Lanny, the student, or Lanny, the athlete, or Lanny, the son and brother—but the near-future version of me when I’m “simultaneously mellow and stimulated,” if the online experiences I’ve read about taking DXM are accurate. Sad truth is, I’ll take just plain disoriented. Any effect will be fine if it whisks me away.

I drop down to the cold floor and without ceremony open one of the small bottles. The cough medicine goes down more easily than I thought.

Cherry-berry-sweet-thick-burning-soothing- pleasure-pain. It doesn’t take too long.

Itchy as hell…belly’s on fire….

“Read to me, Lanny…read it again!

”Can’t feel my legs at all….

“Wishes don’t wash dishes, son.”

Can’t stop barfing…. So sick….

“Take a hike, Keating—you filthy, no-good, loser boozer-druggie!”

Blew it with Trevor…blew it with everybody.

Can’t breathe…need a breath….

Gonna die here alone.

This one looks intense. As a mother to teen sons, I’m excited (and scared!) to read it.

Interested? You can find CLEAN on Goodreads, and Amazon (US, UK, CA and AU).

****GIVEAWAY****

Click the Rafflecopter link below for your chance to win a $10 Amazon gift card.
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Good luck and keep reading my friends!

About the Author:
Mia Kerick is the mother of four exceptional children—all named after saints—and five nonpedigreed cats—all named after the next best thing to saints, Boston Red Sox players. Her husband of twenty-two years has been told by many that he has the patience of Job, but don’t ask Mia about that, as it is a sensitive subject.

Mia focuses her stories on the emotional growth of troubled young people and their relationships, and she believes that physical intimacy has a place in a love story, but not until it is firmly established as a love story. As a teen, Mia filled spiral-bound notebooks with romantic tales of tortured heroes (most of whom happened to strongly resemble lead vocalists of 1980s big-hair bands) and stuffed them under her mattress for safekeeping. She is thankful to Dreamspinner Press, Harmony Ink Press, and CreateSpace for providing her with alternate places to stash her stories.

Mia is a social liberal and cheers for each and every victory made in the name of human rights, especially marital equality. Her only major regret: never having taken typing or computer class in school, destining her to a life consumed with two-fingered pecking and constant prayer to the Gods of Technology.

Where to find Mia online: Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads.

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Secret Love for ABBY AND THE CUTE ONE–Review & Giveaway

abby and the cute one tour bannerHi there! Today I’m sharing a review for a newly released contemporary YA rockstar romance from Erin Butler. ABBY AND THE CUTE ONE is the fifth book in the Backstage Pass series about the members of boy-band Seconds to Juliet finding beautiful, strong girls to date. It’s a fun series! Check out my reviews for MIA AND THE BAD BOY, DAISY AND THE FRONT MAN and ANYA AND THE SHY GUY, to learn more about the series.

Don’t forget to drop down and enter the giveaway for a swag bag, or a $25 Amazon gift card!

AbbyandtheCuteOne_FINALAbout the book:
He’s cute. He’s famous. And he could ruin everything…
Every member of Seconds to Juliet has a girlfriend—except for Nathan Strong. Now the band’s manager is leaning hard on “The Cute One” to play the role of the band’s heartthrob. With the band’s sales in decline, it’s up to Nathan to keep the fans’ fantasy alive.

The plan is to stage a fake relationship and a fake breakup, and then let the fans fight to be the one to mend Nathan’s broken heart. Just one problem. There’s another girl in the picture–one Nathan can’t stay away from. In private, Nathan’s stealing kisses with the band’s new opening act, Abby Curtis.

If they’re caught, no one wins. Abby will be fired, and the band might not recover the success they need to survive. But even with the pressure mounting, Nathan and Abby can’t stop themselves from stealing one more touch, one more kiss. And it’s only a matter of time before it all falls apart.

My Review:
Nathan Strong is the new IT boy of Seconds To Juliet, and he’s not happy about it. All his bandmates have real relationships, with girls they love, and he’s on a blind date every week with some starlet he doesn’t know and who doesn’t want to know him. It’s lonely on the road, and he’s feeling down about it when he meets Abby Curtis. It’s a sweet meet-cute and they’re getting along well before he realizes that she’s auditioning to be an opening act on S2J’s tour. Crap!

Abby’s so taken by Nathan, not that she didn’t already have some fangirling attraction, and so crushed when he disses her after she nails the audition and gets signed to tour with S2J. Well, that is until S2J’s manager lays it all out: if she has any romantic contact with any of the band, including Nathan, she’ll be fired.

THat said, she and Nathan really can’t stay away from each other. And, that’s rough when Nathan’s being set up for a public romance/heartbreak scenario with a popular teen actress, Marissa. This is a sweet/bittersweet story abut going after one’s dreams, even when they are in conflict. I liked both Nathan and Abby from the start, and symapathized with their plight. They are kindred spirits, and wanting both love and success in their lives. The obstacles in their way seem too high to climb, but Nathan’s friends are there when he needs them.

Expect sneaking around, forbidden kisses, and a grand gesture of epic proprtions. It’s an HEA all the way. This is a clean romance, with no foul language, suggestiveness, and only a few heated kisses that never go farther. Suitable for all YA readers.

Interested? You can find ABBY AND THE CUTE ONE on Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iBooks, and Kobo Books.

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Don’t forget about the other books in this series! I’ve read and really enjoyed three others: MIA AND THE BAD BOY, DAISY AND THE FRONT MAN and ANYA AND THE SHY GUY All the buy links are on those posts.

****GIVEAWAY****

Click the Rafflecopter link below for your chance to win your choice: Backstage Pass Swag Pack or $25 Amazon gift card.
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Good luck and keep reading my friends!

erin butlerAbout the Author
Erin Butler is lucky enough to have two jobs she truly loves. As a librarian, she gets to work with books all day long, and as an author, Erin uses her active imagination to write the kinds of books she loves to read. Young Adult and New Adult books are her favorites, but she especially fangirls over a sigh-worthy romance.

She lives in Central New York with her very understanding husband, a stepson, and doggie BFF, Maxie. Preferring to spend her time indoors reading or writing, she’ll only willingly go outside for chocolate and sunshine—in that order.

Fidn Erin online on her website, Goodreads, Twitter, and Facebook.
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Digging THE LIBBY GARRETT INTERVENTION–Review & Giveaway

the libby garrett tour banner new
Hi there! I’ve got another contemporary YA romance to share today. THE LIBBY GARRETT INTERVENTION by Kelly Oram is a compelling story about a gal who has let a user/player ruin her friendships and her self-esteem. It’s an honest read with real characters who mess up and make amends.

Make sure to drop down and enter the book and $30 gift card giveaway!

the libby garrett coverAbout the book:
Libby Garrett is addicted to Owen Jackson’s hot lovin’. But the sexy, popular college basketball player doesn’t appreciate all of Libby’s awesomeness. He refuses to be exclusive or even admit to people that they’re dating. The relationship is ruining Libby and she’s the only one who can’t see it.

When Libby’s behavior spirals completely out of control, her best friend Avery Shaw and the rest of the Science Squad stage an intervention hoping to cure Libby of her harmful Owen addiction. They put her through her very own Twelve Step program—Owen’s Anonymous—and recruit the help of a sexy, broody, hard as nails coffee man to be her official sponsor.

Adam Koepp has watched Libby Garrett for years. How could he not notice the sassy girl with the purple skateboard and helmet plastered with cat stickers? But in all the years he’s crushed on her, Libby has failed to take notice of him. Why would she when he was just a nobody high school drop out who served her apple cider several times a week? Especially when she was hooking up with a guy like Owen Jackson—a guy with a college scholarship and more abs than Kyle Hamilton.

Adam finally gets the chance to meet Libby when his co-worker Avery Shaw recruits him to take Libby on the journey of a lifetime. With his ability to play Bad Cop and his experience with the Twelve Step program he’s the perfect candidate to be Libby’s sponsor. But will he be able to keep his personal feelings out of the matter and really help her the way she needs? And will Libby hate him when he forces her to take an honest look at herself?

My Review:
This is the second book in a series, but can be enjoyed on it’s own. 4.5 Stars for this contemporary YA romance.

High school senior Libby Garrett is a big girl. She has some hormonal issues that keep her from losing weight, though she’s on a strict diet and exercises regularly. She’s a math whiz, and part of the Science Squad at her high school in Utah, but she’s gotten involved with a college boy who does her wrong. Owen, may be “all that” on the basketball court, but he’s been hooking up with Libby on the super down-low for a year now. He’s never met her parents, never gone out on a date with her, and won’t even accept her social media friendships. He even arranges hotel stays for their trysts to keep Libby out of his dorm room.

In the past year, Libby has changed her wardrobe–eschewing her witty cat t-shirts and jeans for (unflattering) lycra and mini-skirts. She’s flaked on all her friends, multiple times, and hurt their feelings. Because, when Owen calls, Libby answers.

Her besties, Avery and the rest of the Science Squad stage an Owen intervention, mediated by Adam–Avery’s tattooed skater manager at the coffee shop. Adam’s had a hard life and he knows all about addiction, thanks to his mother’s alcoholism. He is the legal guardian for his younger sister, and sacrificed his high school diploma in order to work enough to support them both. He’s always had a crush on Libby, but he’s disappointed to see how her personality has changed since Owen arrived.

Libby wants nothing to do with the intervention, or Adam, but a week after some hard truths, she decides to try. Adam and Avery continue to tell her that she’s worth more than Owen’s leftovers, but it’s hard quitting him cold turkey. Libby’s never had a boyfriend, and doesn’t fell worthy of love due to her weight problem. Still, she wants her friendships back, and healthy, and she’s tired of being a booty call. Adam agrees to be her “sponsor” and their close proximity brings Libby to a place she never anticipated.

This is a refreshing YA romance. Adam’s such a decent guy, and Libby begins to see herself as more than a “fat” girl. Her self-image has been low for a long, long time, and it’s hard for her to accept compliments, especially from Adam. Adam tries to guard his heart, but he’s a goner for Libby. That said, he’s not trying to make moves on her. He’s hoping that she’ll find the strength to love herself, and then (hopefully!!) him.

Expect the usual slow bond and misfire scenario. Owen’s not eager to give up his feisty kitten, and he regularly tests Libby’s resolve. I totally enjoyed the slow burn between Libby and Adam, and I felt that Libby learned a lot about herself, and friendship, in this story. Some grand gestures and humorous situations kept the pace rolling along. There’s only kissing on the page, though we know Libby is a sexually active teen. There’s a real HEA here, for both Libby and Adam, who are great characters to tag along with. It’s a dual POV story so we get to peek inside both Libby and Adam’s brains. A real treat!

Interested? You can find THE LIBBY GARRETT INTERVENTION on Goodreads, Amazon, iBooks, Kobo, and Barnes & Noble.

****GIVEAWAY****

Click the Rafflecopter link for your chance to win a copy of THE AVERY SHAW EXPERIMENT and a $30 GC!
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Good luck and keep reading my friends!

kelly oramAbout the Author
Kelly Oram wrote her first novel at age fifteen–a fan fiction about her favorite music group, The Backstreet Boys, for which family and friends still tease her. She’s obsessed with reading, talks way too much, and loves to eat frosting by the spoonful. She lives outside of Phoenix, Arizona with her husband and four children.

You can catch up with Kelly online on her website, Goodreads, Twitter, and Facebook.
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Hiding OUR LITTLE SECRET–Review & Giveaway

OLS BT bannerHi there! Today I’m sharing a review for OUR LITTLE SECRET, a contemporary YA romance from Ashelyn Drake. This one is quite the quandary: the best friend, or the boyfriend…

Make sure to pop down and enter the Amazon gift card and book swag giveaway!

OLSAbout the book:
Becca Daniels needs a passing math grade…but what she wants is to spend more time with Toby Michaels. The only problem is Toby is her best friend’s twin, and Tori has a very firm “no dating the brother” policy.

But Becca’s grade has hit rock bottom and she needs a tutor. It just so happens that Toby is a math genius and more than happy to help—lucky her! Working so closely with the handsome, popular Toby, Becca can’t hide her attraction, and it soon becomes obvious he feels the same way.

Becca doesn’t want to lose her best friend, but she isn’t willing to give up Toby either.

At first, sneaking around is fun, stealing kisses right under Tori’s nose. But things take an ugly turn when Toby’s ex-girlfriend Meredith catches them together. Meredith demands Toby take her back and restore her reputation, or she’ll tell Tori their secret. Do they dare tell Tori the truth? Or would that just make things worse?

Surrounded by secrets and knee-deep in deception, something has to give. How far is Meredith willing to go to keep Toby and Becca apart?

And how much is Becca willing to risk to keep…Our Little Secret?

My Review:
Becca is a junior in high school, as is her BFF Tori and Tori’s twin brother, Toby. Becca has known the twins for more then ten years, and has been best friends with Tori nearly that long. She’s grown up with Toby and can’t help appreciating all the ways he has grown up, too. Toby’s a fit boy, captain of the basketball team and an all-around popular kid. He’s always been nice to Becca and Becca has a secret crush–one that she can never reveal to Tori, because Tori will dissolve their friendship. It’s happened before with other girls. Plus, Toby’s popular and Becca’s not–he’d never go for her…

Then, Becca’s risking failure in trig, and Tori insists that Toby help Becca out. It’s heady, being alone with him, even if it is to study trig. But that not all that’s happening behind Toby’s closed bedroom door. Nope. He’s admitting to having feelings, and they decide to “try out” dating in order to see if it’s worth upsetting Tori over. They keep it behind closed doors, but Tori’s suspicious of Toby’s excellent mood, and Toby’s ex-girlfriend Meredith is ALWAYS turning up to cajole Toby back. Well, until Meredith learns that Toby and Becca are together. She’s had a mean streak over Becca for years, and seizes the opportunity to hurt Becca while also getting Toby back.

This is a high-stakes high school romance that is pretty clean. I really liked both Becca and Toby, who want to find a real connection without the interference of sisters and exes and best friends, but it’s just not meant to be! Tori and Meredith are not nice girls, in this book. Meredith is the worst kind of conniver, and is set up to be the truly bad guy, but Becca makes plenty of dumb decisions, like going along with Meredith’s mean spirited plans. At first.

Toby’s caught in the crossfire. He’d happily reveal all, and see if he and Becca can withstand the pressure, but he caves to Becca’s needs–Tori isn’t just her best friend, she’s her only real friend. Losing Tori is not an option, at least, until the decision is taken from her.

I really did like the high school cattiness, to an extent, because it was so high school drama. That felt painfully real, but it carried on a bit long for me, and the resolution was super dramatic, with an auditorium reveal that is straight out of a sit-com. Meredith’s ultimatums were a tad too mean-spirited and hinted at illegal. That said, there were plenty of real emotions of the page. Becca never wants to hurt anyone, and FINALLY that included herself. I loved when she got over her self-sacrificing for Tori and began living her own life; it made the final pages much better, for me. I liked that Toby was a good, human, kid. He’s not perfect, doesn’t pretend to be, but he acts maturely throughout. He’s a good boyfriend to Becca, and a good brother to Tori–who is a spoiled rotten queen of a girl who only wants more social power. I really didn’t care much for her until the very end, and then only a little.

Interested? You can find OUR LITTLE SECRET on Goodreads, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble.

****GIVEAWAY****

Click the Rafflecopter link below for your chance to win a swag pack and $10 Amazon gift card.
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Goodl luck and keep reading my friends!

KHauthorphotoAbout the Author:
Ashelyn Drake is a New Adult and Young Adult contemporary romance author. While it’s rare for her not to have either a book in hand or her fingers flying across a laptop, she also enjoys spending time with her family. She believes you are never too old to enjoy a good swing set and there’s never a bad time for some dark chocolate. She also writes speculative fiction under the name Kelly Hashway. She is represented by Sarah Negovetich of Corvisiero Literary Agency.

Catch up with Ashelyn online on her website, blog, Facebook, twitter, Amazon Author Page, and Goodreads.
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Hidden Truths in QUINN INVISIBLE–A Review

Hi there! Today I’m sharing my review for QUINN INVISIBLE, a YA mystery/romance that really packs a gut punch. I really enjoyed IN YOUR DREAMS and AS YOU WAKE, books in Amy Martin’s In Your Dreams series, so I was eager to read QUINN, and I was not disappointed.

Quinn InvisibleAbout the book:
When her cop father is killed in the line of duty, Quinn Callahan returns from New York to her hometown of Shady Springs, Missouri, to live with her aunt. Unfortunately, Shady Springs holds nothing but pain for Quinn, whose mother allegedly murdered Quinn’s popular best friend Emma before killing herself, leaving Quinn a bullied outcast at her upscale prep school.

After almost four years away, Quinn finds not much has changed at Harrandale Preparatory Academy, although her bullies have grown older, taller, and crueler. And Emma’s twin brother Evan is still indifferent to her, which is more painful than any punishment her classmates can inflict.

Determined to clear her mother’s name, Quinn begins re-investigating Emma’s death with the help of some new friends and–eventually–Evan. But will Quinn and Evan be able to live with what they learn about their families in the process?

My Review:
Quinn is an orphan–but it’s worse than that. Four years ago her mother was implicated in a murder-suicide that also ended the life of Quinn’s BFF, Emma. Quinn and Emma’s twin, Evan, had been developing a romance–which is completely derailed by Emma’s death–and Evan’s mother committed suicide a month later, leaving both Quinn and Evan mother-less.

Quinn’s father, a police detective, was fired for copying the case files surrounding his wife’s death, hoping to solve the mystery in a way that exonerated the woman he loved, but he’s caught and fired–so he moves to NYC with Quinn, and the book opens with Quinn’s father being killed in action in NYC.

Quinn is forced to return to the affluent St. Louis suburb she fled four years prior as a pariah. Her paternal aunt has custody and is determined to follow Quinn’s father’s wishes by sending Quinn to the prep school she had attended with Emma and Evan–only now Evan is aloof (understandably) and all the in-kids are busy making life super difficult for Quinn.

Quinn manages to get befriended by Seti and Hal, an odd couple who keep their relationship on the down-low from Seti’s parents who are happily planning her medical career and arranged marriage. They reach out and help in ways that are realistic and awesome. Their biggest assistance is with sorting through the copied case files that Quinn discovered amongst her father’s effects. It becomes Quinn’s mission to clear her mother’s name–if not for her own sanity, to restore the balance between herself and Evan.

There is a romance here. Evan is conflicted about his affection for the girl he’d begun to love before his world axis was tilted, twice. It is cautious, and age-appropriate, with little more than kissing on the page. Still, that is a real problem for Quinn, whose investigation seems to implicate people VERY close to Evan perpetrating a double murder.

So, clear her mom? Or break Evan’s heart yet again–by revealing what she learns. Quinn makes a good choice, even though it messes up her life even more. Considering all that she learns in this investigation, it turns out Quinn’s life was pretty messed up before, though she had no idea about that.

I really enjoyed this read. The pacing is great, the relationships are real, and Quinn is a main character who is steady and true to her purpose. The end was not far from what I expected, but the twist makes the sequel a necessity. Not a cliffhanger, but there is certainly enough work for Quinn to undertake in her mission to fill another book.

Interested? You can find QUINN INVISIBLE on Goodreads, Amazon, Smashwords, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, and Kobo.

Amy MartinAbout the Author:
Amy Martin wrote and illustrated her first book at the age of ten and gave it to her fourth grade teacher, who hopefully lost it in her house somewhere and didn’t share it with anyone else.

The first novel she published as a grown-up, In Your Dreams, was a 2012 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Semi-finalist in Young Adult Fiction. In Your Dreams was the first of a four book series (In Your Dreams, As You Wake, Before You Sleep, and Beyond Your Dreams). Her latest novel, Quinn Invisible, will debut in August 2015.

Amy currently lives in Lexington, KY with her husband and a ferocious attack tabby named Cleo. When not writing or reading, she can usually be found watching sports, drinking coffee, or indulging her crippling Twitter habit (and, sometimes, doing all three at once).

You can find Amy online on her website, Goodreads, Facebook and twitter.

Thanks for popping in, and keep reading my friends!

Cephalopod Coffehouse July 2015–LOVE SPELL–A Review

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Hi there! Welcome one and all to the Cephalopod Coffeehouse, a cozy gathering of book lovers, meeting to discuss their thoughts regarding the tomes they enjoyed most over the previous month. Pull up a chair, order your cappuccino and join in the fun.

Hi all! Today I’m sharing my review for LOVE SPELL by Mia Kerick. This is a contemporary YA M/M romance which is wholly clean and really compelling. Chance is a gender-fluid teen–that means he’s as likely to dress male or female. He’s confident that he’s gay, and 58% (or so) sure that he’s not transgender, but he really doesn’t want to think about it. Or talk about it. He just wants to find the right guy, and he’s pretty sure (probably 95%) that this right guy is Jasper.

Love SpellMy Review:
Chance Cesar is an out gay teen, a senior in his rural New Hampshire high school and the new Miss Harvest Moon. That’s right, he was voted to be the pageant queen, as a cruel joke, but he werks it, strutting down the aisle in an orange tux and black pumps. That’s how we meet Chance, and henceforth his fabulousness cannot be denied.

Chance has always known he’s attracted to boys/men, but he’s still not clear on his gender identity. He struggles with his daily wardrobe–dress or pants–and he wants a boyfriend. A nice boyfriend. He kinda has his heart set on a boy from the vocational school, Jasper Donahue. “Jazz,” as Chance dubs him, is a burly boy with lots of responsibilities. He works to help support his mother and sister, and when he isn’t working, he’s babysitting his sister so his mom can work. Still, Chance is smitten, and he’s not even sure if Jazz swings his direction. Jazz seems to invite Chance’s attention, but there is no clear movement into Boyfriendland. All the discussions and intimate moments could be construed as simple friendliness.

So, Chance comes up with The Plan–well it’s more like The List for The Plan–of ten things to do to capture the heart of a boy. He spends weeks getting to know Jazz, hooking him in–if he can–and having hilarious misadventures. At the heart of this is a serious connection that Chance needs to make with himself, coming to terms with his gender and how that might affect a potential partner. Chance is a reliable narrator, and his narration is funny. He’s a diva, and his brilliance is often overwhelming to his objective: getting Jazz to love him. Thing is, he is super insecure, and that softens his manic edges. It’s a lot Notting Hill, with a boy standing in front of a boy, asking him to love him. This is a completely innocent book, sexually. The romance appears to be completely one-sided but it develops into a very tender friendship as Chance learns to love, and to give love, for no other reason than to help Jazz find happiness. Also, I enjoyed how Chance saw Jazz’s life, and how his privilege of money didn’t make for near as happy a home as Jazz’s criminally broke but bursting with love family.

I think the Love Spell part of it was rather short, and not the main focus, at all. It was great to walk through Chance’s gender-fluid shoes and get a better sense of the insecurity and frustration of not really KNOWING if he was a he-girl or a she-boy or somewhere in the middle, and I’m certain it will resonate with questioning teens. This is the second LGBTQ YA novel I’ve read from Ms. Kerick and the characters are always intense and sincere with real life plights that are honestly told. It took me a little time to settle into Chance’s voice because he’s got a flamboyant speech pattern, which is part of his quirky charm.

Interested? You can find LOVE SPELL on Goodreads, Amazon, Cool Dudes Publishing, and Barnes & Noble.

Thanks for popping in! Don’t forget to check out my fellow Coffeehouse reviewers, too!

Discovering Love in ANYA AND THE SHY GUY

Anya Border
Hi there! Today I’m sharing in the release day festivities for ANYA AND THE SHY GUY, the fourth book in the Backstage Pass series from Entangled Crush. I’ve already enjoyed MIA AND THE BAD BOY and DAISY AND THE FRONT MAN, so I jumped at the chance to catch this one! Anya and “Will” have a difficult road to love, but they persevere!

Anya and the Shy GuyAbout the book:
It’s always the quiet ones…
Anya Anderson doesn’t just need a big break, she needs any break. Living on the streets doesn’t leave a girl many options, so when she scores a gig reporting on the Seconds to Juliet tour, she jumps at the chance to earn enough money to sleep somewhere safe. And the paycheck will get bigger—and keep her off the streets for good—if she can dig up dirt on Will Fray, the irritatingly hot “shy guy” of the band.

Problem is, Will Fray isn’t who everyone thinks he is. In fact, he’s not Will at all. Matt, Will’s identical twin, is actually the guy onstage, reluctantly covering for his brother while he’s in rehab. To make matters worse, Matt’s being shadowed by a cute reporter with troubled eyes determined to get the scoop. On him. And he’s having trouble finding the willpower to keep his distance…

But if the secret gets out, it won’t just be his head on a platter—it’ll be the whole band’s.

This Entangled Teen Crush book contains steamy make out scenes, graphic language, and a love story so hot your copy may spontaneously burst into flames. You’ve been warned.

My Review:

This is the 4th book in the Backstage Pass series, but can be enjoyed as a standalone.

Anya is a homeless teen who has managed to bluff her way into a gig as a reporter covering a two week stint on the Seconds To Juliet tour. Her assignment is to interview Will, the “shy” one and make daily updates to her online ‘zine. Anya knows that if she uncovers a big, dark secret about the band, she can sell it and get the money to move off the Tulsa streets. She has had a few articles published, but has posed as a married woman to attain her freelance job, even though she is only 17.

Will Frey is in rehab after a pain pill addiction. In order to not be found in breach of his contract, his twin brother Matt has stepped into his shoes–only one member of the band knows Matt’s true identity, and Matt’s freaking out that Anya will discover his secret. In order to distract her, he attempts to seduce her–and ends up falling for her completely.

This is a fun one! Anya and Matt are both good people trapped in uncomfortable positions. Anya is so used to being on her own, she’s shell-shocked at the attention of the band, and the sheer number of people that are part of the tour. She makes friends with the make-up woman, and Natasha is her first confidante in probably 5 years; surely since before her schizo mother abandoned her 3 years ago. Matt is, by turns, aggressive and reticent. He’s on constant guard against letting his secret loose, but he doesn’t have all the knowledge he needs to be a complete changeling. Like, Will didn’t give him accurate lyrics. And, Will neglected to mention Natasha was his girlfriend on the down-low.

It’s a really clean read, with only the barest suggestion of anything beyond kissing ending in discomfort and giggles. Matt discovers that Anya has learned his secret, and he does the very worst thing possible, but he’s redeemed in the end–in church no less. I loved how the deception was resolved and really wanted to give Will a big smooch for fixing things, along with Matt. Plus, Anya gets a family of friends who are far better than any she could have been born to.

One snag for me: I’m very familiar with Briticisms, and I wonder why Suze Winegardner didn’t write Miles’ story–as he’s the Brit in the group and her expertise in the application of the Queen’s English would have been better used there. There were several times if I wondered how a boy from Florida would use colloquialisms common to a bloke from the North End…

Otherwise, it’s a light, fun read with some tender romantic elements and two HEA’s for readers to enjoy.

Interested? You can find ANYA AND THE SHY GUY on Goodreads, Amazon (US, UK, CA) Barnes & Noble, Kobo Books, and Googleplay.

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Suze WinegardnerAbout the Author
Suze Winegardner is an ex-pat Brit who quells her homesickness with Cadbury Flakes and Fray Bentos pies. She thinks her life is chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny. And if you get that reference, well, she already considers you kin.

She is represented by Laura Bradford, of the Laura Bradford Literary Agency,and writes for Entangled Publishing‘s Crush imprint. She’s lived in London, Paris and New York, and has settled, for the time being, in North Carolina.

When not writing, Suze loves to travel with her military husband, and take long walks with their Lab. Catch up with Suze online on her Website, Goodreads, Twitter, and Facebook.

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