Grief/Loss

Off the Banned Book List: PERSEPOLIS–A Review

Hi there! As part of my Reading Resolutions for 2016, I made a vow to read books that continue to make the ALA Banned Book List. I’ve picked up a couple already, and had a chance to complete the graphic biography (which is a biography that is illustrated like a comic, or graphic novel) PERSEPOLIS: Story of a Childhood from Marjane Satrapi.

Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood (Persepolis, #1-2)About the book:
A New York Times Notable Book
A Time Magazine “Best Comix of the Year”
A San Francisco Chronicle and Los Angeles Times Best-seller

Wise, funny, and heartbreaking, Persepolis is Marjane Satrapi’s memoir of growing up in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. In powerful black-and-white comic strip images, Satrapi tells the story of her life in Tehran from ages six to fourteen, years that saw the overthrow of the Shah’s regime, the triumph of the Islamic Revolution, and the devastating effects of war with Iraq. The intelligent and outspoken only child of committed Marxists and the great-granddaughter of one of Iran’s last emperors, Marjane bears witness to a childhood uniquely entwined with the history of her country.

Persepolis paints an unforgettable portrait of daily life in Iran and of the bewildering contradictions between home life and public life. Marjane’s child’s-eye view of dethroned emperors, state-sanctioned whippings, and heroes of the revolution allows us to learn as she does the history of this fascinating country and of her own extraordinary family. Intensely personal, profoundly political, and wholly original, Persepolis is at once a story of growing up and a reminder of the human cost of war and political repression. It shows how we carry on, with laughter and tears, in the face of absurdity. And, finally, it introduces us to an irresistible little girl with whom we cannot help but fall in love.

My Review:

I”m going to start this review with the end. I read the last page, closed the book, and burst into tears. There’s a reason I don’t read non-fiction or biography very often, and that’s because I read as an escape from the usual and difficult bits of life that often catch me raw. PERSEPOLIS is a biography, told in graphic “novel” format, illustrating roughly 6 years in the life of an Iranian girl from 1978-1984. This was a time of incredible upheaval in the populace and government of Iran, and marked by revolution, war and religious strife.

As it’s a biography, it tells Marjane’s particular story, growing up with socially active and successful parents, who had some direct ancestry to the shah who’d been deposed in the 1950s. Also, her grandfather served high in the government, before being exiled.

Marjane’s perspective is of a forthright and questioning child who doesn’t understand why her school is now for girls only. Why she must, suddenly due to the Islamic revolution, now wear a veil. Why she cannot possess Western clothing. Why her parents protest their government, and she cannot. Marjane is an only child, and she’s a bit precocious, but she’s also just plain curious and mystified about her world. She wants it to makes sense, and latches on to “heroes” of her environment, like her uncle who survived years as a political prisoner.

Thing is, is seems life didn’t make much sense for the adults in the period, as Satrapi continually relates. Her parents and their neighbors are often performing a public display of allegiance, and privately live as they would choose–even taping their curtains closed so spying eyes cannot bear witness to parties and card playing and alcohol consumption. Revolutionaries believed they would install a democratic government and instead they got a theologic-based government of religious leaders. The hypocrisy of which was made quite clear, when all that was required was for disgruntled men to grow a beard and claim power, in the eyes of Marjane’s grandmother.

I believe some of the most poignant passages illustrated Marjane and her peers talking about the revolution, the Iran-Iraq war and the human tollof all this upheaval. Young, primarily poor, boys being recruited to serve as cannon fodder–in exchange for the “key” to Heaven. The ban on travel for boys aged 13 and over so they could be assured of having soldiers in a war that could have ended, except it served the government’s purpose. The danger of having an outspoken girl in a repressive society. Marjane watches as more and more of her friends disappear, and experiences the terror of becoming a target of the morality police.

I do not know much of the internal politics of this region, and found the brief and tidy snippets of history from young Marjane to be relevant, if not entirely explanatory. Without question, the book is a fantastic look into a world, and history, that should be more widely known. Further, it’s unflinching in its presentation, and accessible to a wide range of readers because of the perspective and voice.

Regarding the “banned” label, the reasons cited for banning the book are as follows: gambling, offensive language, political viewpoint. Additional reasons: “politically, racially, and socially offensive,” “graphic depictions”.

I’ll be honest, none of those parts of the book bothered me. If American citizens are outraged that a foreign-born person is citing use of CIA-trained torture tactics, including whipping, mutilation, urinating on a prisoner, burning alive, and dismemberment, they ought to complain to the government for allowing such practices to become part of their “arsenal,” not the school for having the book on the shelf.

This book was on the reading list of my son in seventh grade. I live in a town that is ethnically and racially mixed, with a high percentage of college-educated residents, and some of the highest-graded schools in my state. It’s “liberal” and I’m proud to be a part of that vibrant community. Having read Persepolis for myself, I’m glad my son read it. I hope that it sparks the same skepticism that Marjane and her parents demonstrated regarding his own government. I think it’s an important book to read, especially now as we see more and more problems within the Middle East region. It humanizes the many thousands of people that live under a regime they perhaps do not agree with, and against which they resist in whatever manner is possible for them. I think it applies farther than Iran’s borders, in many respects.

For myself, living in the nation with the largest free-standing military int he world, I can only voice my pacifism through demonstration and political will. I’m proud to have that right, and will exercise it, even as my fellows shout out my voice for cries to war. Thanks Marjane, for sharing your struggle. It’s a chilling story, and should be distributed far and wide, IMHO.

Interested? You can find PERSEPOLIS on Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and your local library system…perhaps. Remember this is a “banned” book, so you may have to request it. I find it interesting that the cover was censored in my library, and have it in my mind to ask why upon returning the book.

About the Author:

Marjane Satrapi (Persian: مرجان ساتراپی) is an Iranian-born French contemporary graphic novellist, illustrator, animated film director, and children’s book author. Apart from her native tongue Persian, she speaks English, Swedish, German, French and Italian.

Satrapi grew up in Tehran in a family which was involved with communist and socialist movements in Iran prior to the Iranian Revolution. She attended the Lycée Français there and witnessed, as a child, the growing suppression of civil liberties and the everyday-life consequences of Iranian politics, including the fall of the Shah, the early regime of Ruhollah Khomeini, and the first years of the Iran-Iraq War. She experienced an Iraqi air raid and Scud missile attacks on Tehran. According to Persepolis, one Scud hit the house next to hers, killing her friend and entire family.

Satrapi’s family are of distant Iranian Azeri ancestry and are descendants of Nasser al-Din Shah, Shah of Persia from 1848 until 1896. Satrapi said that “But you have to know the kings of the Qajar dynasty, they had hundreds of wives. They made thousands of kids. If you multiply these kids by generation you have, I don’t know, 10-15,000 princes [and princesses]. There’s nothing extremely special about that.” She added that due to this detail, most Iranian families would be, in the words of Simon Hattenstone of The Guardian, “blue blooded.”

She currently lives in France.

Thanks for popping in and keep reading my friends!

Perfecting THE ART OF NOT BREATHING–A Review

Hi there! Today I’m sharing a review for a contemporary YA novel from Sarah Alexander. THE ART OF NOT BREATHING is a little bit romance, a lotta bit grief and healing, as the main character Elsie struggles with the disintegration of her family after the death of her twin brother.

The Art of Not BreathingAbout the book:
Since her twin brother, Eddie, drowned five years ago, sixteen-year-old Elsie Main has tried to remember what really happened that fateful day on the beach. One minute Eddie was there, and the next he was gone.

Seventeen-year-old Tay McKenzie is a cute and mysterious boy that Elsie meets in her favorite boathouse hangout. When Tay introduces Elsie to the world of freediving, she vows to find the answers she seeks at the bottom of the sea.

My Review:
This is a well-written novel about a family slowly eroding following tragedy. It is set in the Black Isle of Scotland.

Five years ago Elsie’s twin Eddie was swept out to sea while they played at the beach for their 11th birthday. His body was never recovered, and her family has never recovered.

Eddie was a smaller child, and though chronologically 11 years old, he was far smaller than Elsie and not able to be educated in the school system due to developmental delays that may have stemmed from gestational issues or a birthing accident. He was several developmental years behind his twin, and Elsie defended him ruthlessly. They have an elder brother Dillon who witnessed some of the events on the beach that fateful day, but neither he nor Elsie, nor their parents, speak of it. Ever.

We start out the book on the eve of Elsie’s 16th birthday, with the family preparing for their annual memorial visit to the seashore to pay respects to Eddie’s cross. It’s all very emotional, and bitter, what with Elsie feeling forlorn for the loss of her twin, and the loss of her own celebrations. What she rarely admits to anyone is that she “hears” Eddie within her, and she speaks to him often. She wants to know what happened on the day of his drowning, but no one will ever speak of it.

As Elsie makes her way through she suffers horrible bullying, depression, and the knowledge that what remains of her family is disintegrating. Dillon’s got a girlfriend, but there’s something very off about him lately; he’s growing scarily thin. Her father spends as much time at work, or traveling for work, as possible, and her mother is a functional alcoholic.

During the course of the book we learn that Elsie loves spending time near the water, as it helps her feel close to Eddie. Eddie was a boy who loved the shore, and the dolphins, and Elsie creates a haven for herself at an abandoned boating club–which is now being refurbished by Mick, his son Danny and nephew Tay. They want to run scuba tours and freediving classes. Elsie has been continually warned against going into the water, but her rebellious side allows her to be goaded into it–and there she experiences flashbacks of that fateful day.

Driven to determine the full truth of the horrors of Eddie’s final moments, she begins to train with bad-boy Tay, and eventually the mean and enigmatic Danny, so that she can make deep freedives into the inlet where Eddie drowned.

It’s a really fascinating look at the way loss changes the dynamics of a family. There are so many converging problems: her father’s anger and withdrawal, her mother’s depression, her brother’s eating disorder. Elsie, in pseudo middle child form, feels a deep need to piece everything together. The emotions run high, and it’s a thrilling experience for Elsie to have the interest of a boy–for the first time ever. All her training for freediving alters her appearance, and gives her a different mindset–she aches to achieve a final communion with Eddie, and that was really poignant, if rather troubling.

I really related to Elsie’s determination, and understood her seemingly flighty nature. No one has seemed to care about her in a very long time, so why should she bother? And yet, she finds the strength to do so. She’s not a very admirable character, in many ways, but I felt that her faults were those of circumstance. She feels as if she’s a pariah, and she’s often treated that way. Tay is the one guy who sees her, not the Twin Who Lived, and that’s a refreshing experience for a girl who mostly fades into the shadows.

In all, the book was interesting, and I found myself rapidly turning the pages as the drama became more and more intense. Expect some super dark moments, and a renewed life for a girl whose seemed to end when her twin died. The ending is definitely upbeat.

Interested? You can find THE ART OF NOT BREATHING on Goodreads, Amazon, Barnes & Noble. I received a review copy via NetGalley.

About the Author:
Sarah Alexander grew up in London with dreams of exploring the world and writing stories. After spending several years wandering the globe and getting into all sorts of scrapes, she returned to London to complete a Master’s degree in Creative Writing at Birkbeck College in 2013. Previous jobs include: tomato picker, travel consultant, mental-health support worker and suitcase administrator. Now she works in publishing. Sarah lives in London with her husband and two chickens. THE ART OF NOT BREATHING is her first novel.

You can catch up with Sarah online on her website and twitter.

Thanks for popping in and keep reading my friends.

Reconnecting in the BLACK DUST–Excerpt and Giveaway!

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Hi there! Today I’m sharing an excerpt, review, and giveaway for a new contemporary M/M romance from Lynn Charles. BLACK DUST is a reconnection romance between lovers who got separated by tragedy, and attempt to rebuild their relationship after fifteen years of separation.

Check out the excerpt and review and enter to win a $25 GC for Interlude Press or one of FIVE ebooks of BLACK DUST below.

Black Dust 900px COVER (web Tumblr)About the book:
Fifteen years after a tragic car crash claimed a friend’s life and permanently injures his then-boyfriend, Broadway musician Tobias Spence reconnects with his former love.

As Emmett and Tobias explore their renewed relationship, the two men face old hurts and the new challenges of a long-distance romance.

Will Tobias lose his second chance at love to the ghosts he can’t seem to put to rest?

How about a little taste?

“I can’t, Emmett. I—can’t go back.”
“Then we are clearly not ready for any sort of commitment.”
“Wait. You won’t agree to—to us—unless I come to Indiana?”
“I won’t,” Emmett said. “It’s all feeling a little one-sided to me, and I’m not okay with that.”
“You don’t understand.”
“I do understand, Toby. I was there for everything that makes you afraid of that place.”
“Yes. You were,” Toby said, taking Emmett’s hand in his. “But my concerns about going back have nothing to do with you.”
“Maybe they should have something to do with me.”
“That’s—” Toby pulled his hand away. “That’s not fair.”
“It really is,” Emmett said. He reached across the table for Toby’s hand again. “Please?” Toby took his hand and Emmett squeezed, holding on as if he might never let go. “We experienced a great tragedy together. And while Scotty’s parents lost their son, no one felt the things we felt. No one else woke up screaming and sweating when we heard the sounds of the crash in our sleep.”
“Emmett—”
“No one else knew the fear of maybe never walking again. No one else lost weight and a semester of school because he might get thrown in jail. No one else felt the things we felt together. That’s all ours. As much as you want to, you cannot take me out of the equation.”
“But, that’s just it, Em. I don’t want to feel those things again. I cannot walk back into that—that darkness.”
Emmett pulled their joined hands to his lips and kissed Toby’s knuckles. “You already have. You have been so enamored¬—you’ve practically spent this entire week making love to my scars. You’re there. And it’s not so dark anymore.”
“No, because you’re whole again. You’re not broken anymore.”
Emmett saw it, then. He saw in the way Toby had almost obsessed over the ridiculous tattoo and Emmett’s scars, as if begging for them to also bring him the powers that Derek had wished upon Emmett’s body those years ago. He saw it in Toby’s insistence that they start all over as if the accident never happened, as if the years of silence weren’t strung between them like a rope and plank bridge connecting two separate lands.
So he said it. To give it power. To make it a truth they shared—like their shared tragedy. “And you still are. Broken.”
Toby nodded, grasping at Emmett’s fingers like a lifeline. “I’m so—” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m so exhausted making sure no one knows.”
“Oh, Toby.” All the more reason “trying again” was a bad idea. Unready to let go, Emmett kissed Toby’s fingers again. “Then come to my home,” Emmett offered, trite as it sounded in his own ears. “I’ve remodeled the master and made a party room in my basement for the kids.”
“You’ve never told me—”
“It’s beautiful, really. It’s on a couple of acres, and the back of the property is lined with a stream you can hear from the kitchen when the windows are open. It’s very peaceful. It sounds like you need some peace.”
“You deserve a beautiful life.”
“So let me share it with you. At least think about it?”
Toby nodded and began to clean up. “Will you still come see me in San Francisco after school’s out?”
“I don’t know. I’d really like an answer before I agree to see you again.”
“Okay. I’m sorry it’s not as easy as it should be.”
“I am too, Toby. Being with you was always so easy.”

My Review:

This is a realistically-told reconnection romance between two high school sweethearts who survived a car wreck that left them both broken, inside and out.

Toby and Emmett met in local community theater, when Emmett was a performer and Toby the accompanist. They dated long-distance for two years, as Toby had begun in college in New York. The night before Emmett’s senior prom Toby coasted through a stop sign in their rural Indiana locale, and the results were disastrous. Their car was broadsided at high speed. Another passenger, Emmett’s best friend Scotty, was killed instantly and Emmett suffered pelvic and leg fractures that had a painful recovery. Toby was barely injured physically, but his emotional landscape was shattered. As much as Toby stuck by Emmett, anger at his pain, loss of his friend, and his injury-dashed Broadway dreams made Emmett snarly as a wounded boar. The fallout was a fifteen year separation.

Toby never forgot his first love, but years of guilt caused him to never set down any roots. He traveled extensively, directing and coaching off-Broadway productions wherever he could sell his services. Emmett had a great many number of wild years, never finding a man he would settle with for long. He’s been stable for the last several years, however, and longing connection. Encouraged by his best friend, Emmett calls Toby to set up a meeting so he can gain some closure on their tragic love story–only to have the flame rekindled.

Over the next year, Emmett and Toby go back-and-forth across the country to meet and come to terms with who they are, who they want to be, and if that includes a “together” for them. It is a story that encompasses a lifetime of missed opportunity, and a whole lot of healing. These guys have really been through some bad times, and they can’t trust each other enough to not get hurt–or do the hurting. I liked that there was no easy road here. They each have hard truths to face and accept. I found it fascinating, the inclusion of the musical soundtrack of their lives, how they couldn’t build it alone, but could together. How Emmett’s forgiveness and understanding, without the platitudes, was so healing for Toby.

Also, their long-distance love affair was on-again and off-again and back on- again. There was sufficient tension to keep it real, and interesting. The secondary characters, where they existed, were fun and engaging. And, who doesn’t love a grand gesture-ending with an original score that was worthy of (at least) off-Broadway.

Interested? You can find BLACK DUST on Goodreads, Interlude Press, Amazon, iTunes, Barnes & Noble, AllRomance, Smashwords, Book Depository, and Indiebound.

****GIVEAWAY****

Click on this Rafflecopter giveaway link for a chance to win a $25 GC to Interlude Press or one of FIVE copies of BLACK DUST.
Good luck and keep reading my friends!

About the Author:
Lynn Charles earned her degree in music education and for many years performed and directed choral music. When she’s not writing, she can be found strolling through local farmers markets near her home in Central Ohio in search of ingredients for new recipes. Her novel Chef’s Table was published in 2014 by Interlude Press.

You can find Lynn online on her website, Facebook, twitter, and Pinterest.
pride

Destructive Grief: YOU WERE HERE-A Review

Hi there! Today I’m sharing a review for a contemporary YA novel form Cori McCarthy. YOU WERE HERE is a page-turner for no other reason but to watch a trainwreck of grief tear through the lives of several teens. I had terrible thoughts that this would turn out tragically, but I was spared that by some amazing moments of grace and introspection, and, well…hope.

You Were HereAbout the book:

Grief turned Jaycee into a daredevil, but can she dare to deal with her past?

On the anniversary of her daredevil brother’s death, Jaycee attempts to break into Jake’s favorite hideout—the petrifying ruins of an insane asylum. Joined by four classmates, each with their own brand of dysfunction, Jaycee discovers a map detailing her brother’s exploration and the unfinished dares he left behind.

As a tribute to Jake, Jaycee vows to complete the dares, no matter how terrifying or dangerous. What she doesn’t bargain on is her eccentric band of friends who challenge her to do the unthinkable: reveal the parts of herself that she buried with her brother.

My Review:

This was a tough book to read, because there are so many elements of grief and depression. That said, it really pulled me in, and I liked how it all worked out.

Jaycee Strangelove is a girl in crisis. Her beloved daredevil of an elder brother Jake died five years ago, challenged to a parkour feat he’d completed a thousand times before–but not while drunk, maybe. In an instant he was gone, but his loss created a ripple effect which still has power. Those waves are beating Jaycee’s sanity to pieces. Her best friend, Natalie, an unknown witness to the event abandoned her not long after Jake’s death. Ryan, a selective mute and Jake’s good friend, has tried to get over his role in the tragedy–and his long-time crush on Jaycee.

In the wake of Natalie and Jaycee’s high school graduation they reconnect, as Natalie and her boyfriend Zach and another friend, Bishop, discover Jaycee’s intent to recreate some of Jake’s stunts/adventures. Ryan is a silent witness to the ordeals, providing the kind of assistance he wished would have saved Jake so many years ago.

This is a book that’s told by five voices–and each is a person dealing with loss. The summer after graduation should be filled with big plans and parties and fun, but it’s not like that for this motley crew. They are instead “urbanex”-ing–exploring abandoned and derelict urban structures for fun. Jaycee has a map and journal used by her brother before he died, and she wants to visit each space to be in a place he once was. It’s a dangerous pastime, and results in more than one serious injury. While Jaycee hunts for the fleeting connection with her idolized brother, she puts herself and others at risk, time and again. This recklessness is what keeps Ryan coming back–he can’t bear to let Jaycee hurt herself, and she’s barely got a grip on reality, as it stands. Her mother has been in and out of in-patient therapy since Jake died, and Natalie’s a sometimes there, yet completely messed up, Type-A gal seeking a future her mother outlined. Jaycee’s father tries to hold things together, but he’s stretched so thin, and really just wants his family to heal.

In the meantime, there are several other issues, including teen substance abuse, domestic abuse, and love. Yes, love, because it exists within all these real spaces. A whole lot of truth-telling is the order of the summer, and seeing the end of the journey together, too. The adventures create an intimacy that can only exist for people who have long histories and shared pain. As outwardly self-destructive as Jaycee is, the same experience exists for Natalie and Zach–only inwardly. Bishop’s coming to terms with a bad relationship/break-up is just as gut-wrenching for him, and Ryan, well Ryan needs to be real with Jaycee before he doesn’t have a chance.

It took me a little time to bond with the characters, but there are some excellent voices here, and the presentation of each was stunning. Expect some graphic novel-type elements–which were wholly unique and enjoyable to me as a novel reader. I also loved the story and its resolution. Grief is such a soul-sucking experience, and it has the ability to ravage each of us in very different ways. The book was excellent at demonstrating it’s varied and destructive power while still bringing the reader, and characters, back to a hopeful place in the end.

Interested? You can find YOU WERE HERE on Goodreads, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble. I received a review copy of this book via NetGalley.

About the Author:

Cori is the author of several YA books. Kirkus called her debut novel, THE COLOR OF RAIN, “[an] elegantly written and emotionally cathartic page-turner.” Her second novel, BREAKING SKY, received starred reviews from School Library Journal and the Bulletin for the Center of Children’s Books and is currently in development to become a film by Sony Pictures. Kirkus reviewed it as “smart, exciting, confident–and quite possibly the next Big Thing.” Her third book, YOU WERE HERE, is a contemporary mixed media novel that earned a starred review from the Bulletin for the Center of Children’s Books and was hailed a VOYA Best Book.

Cori’s novel in verse, Name Me America, won the Middle Grade category for the 2014 Katherine Paterson Prize. Cori is also the co-founder of Rainbow Boxes, a charitable initiative aiming to bring LGBTQIA fiction to community libraries and GSAs across America. Tweet @RainbowBoxesYA or watch a three minute commercial for the initiative.

Cori is a contributing blogger at Through the Tollbooth and a freelance editor with Yellow Bird Editor.

You can find Cori online on her website, Facebook, and twitter.

Thanks for popping in, and keep reading my friends!

Rebuilding Hearts in IMPERFECT HARMONY–Review and Giveaway

BannerTemplate-8Hi there! I’m so excited to share a release day review for Jay Northcote’s new contemporary M/M romance, IMPERFECT HARMONY. I’ve read several of Jay’s books (The Marrying Kind, Like A Lover, What Happens at Christmas, and The Law of Attraction) and I must say this one was the most poignant, for me. Depression, grief and loss are my hot-button topics, and this book hit them all, and served me up a generous helping of love to soothe all my heartaches–personal and fictional.

ImperfectHarmony_FINALAbout the book:
Imperfect harmony can still be beautiful…
John Fletcher, a former musician, is stuck in limbo after losing his long-term partner two years ago. He’s shut himself off from everything that reminds him of what he’s lost. When his neighbour persuades him to join the local community choir, John rediscovers his love of music and finds a reason to start living again.

Rhys Callington, the talented and charismatic choir leader, captures John’s attention from the first moment they meet. He appears to be the polar opposite of John: young, vibrant, and full of life. But Rhys has darkness in his own past that is holding him back from following his dreams.

Despite the nineteen-year age gap, the two men grow close and a fragile relationship blossoms. Ghosts of the past and insecurities about the future threaten their newfound happiness. If they’re going to harmonise in life and love as they do in their music, they’ll need to start following the same score.

A delicious taste!

Luckily there were still some parking spaces outside the church hall where Maggie’s choir met. John made sure they arrived a little early so Maggie wouldn’t have to walk too far. She was managing well on one crutch, but she still tired easily. After he parked, he got out and hurried around to help her out of the passenger door.

“Thanks, love,” she said, patting him on the arm. “I can manage now.”

A vicious gust of wind whipped a strand of hair into her face. It was dark, still sleeting, and probably slippery underfoot. There was no way John was going to leave until she was safely indoors. “I’ll just see you inside. Let me take your bag.”

Maggie let him have it without argument, and he popped it over his arm. He hovered close to Maggie as she made her way slowly to the double doors. He held one open for her and was hit by a blast of warm air. Then he accompanied her inside as she crutched along the corridor towards an open door. Yellow light flooded out, and the sound of a tenor voice singing “I Can See Clearly Now” raised the hairs on the back of John’s neck with its pure, clear beauty.

“I thought you said the emphasis was on fun rather than perfection?” he said quietly. “He’s got quite a voice.”

“That’ll be Rhys, our choir leader,” Maggie said with a smile. “Come and meet him, even if you’re not staying.”

Maggie paused when she reached the doorway and put a finger to her lips. They listened and waited for Rhys to finish singing. John peered over Maggie’s shoulder, hoping for a glimpse of the man the voice belonged to. Rhys, John presumed, was alone in the room. With his back to the door, he stood at a table pushed to the edge of the room, shuffling through some papers as he sang. All John could see of him was that he was small and slight, and quite young, based on the cut of his clothes. A hood covered his hair.

When he finished, Maggie started clapping.

Rhys wheeled around. “Oh my God! You made me jump.” He pushed his hood down and his face lit up as he beamed. “Maggie. How are you?”

John’s eyes widened as he took in Rhys’s front view as he approached Maggie and gave her a careful hug. His hair, which was shaved at the back and sides, was long on top and dyed peacock blue. His eyebrow was pierced, his arms were covered with tattoos, and the front of his T-shirt was emblazoned with a glittery equals sign in rainbow colours. All in all, he was at least twenty years younger than John had expected and completely unlike how John would have imagined a choir leader to look. In this dingy church hall in their small market town, Rhys looked like a bird of paradise that had accidentally ended up in a cage full of sparrows.

My Review:
John is a musician and music teacher who hasn’t even picked up his violin in the two years since his vibrant and loving life partner of 20 years, David, was killed in a car wreck. Since then his mother became ill with cancer and John moved into her home to care for her in her last days–she died four months prior to the beginning of the story. John’s a virtual recluse in his mother’s empty home; he works as a substitute teacher, and has one friend, Maggie–his mother’s longtime neighbor who’s like a second mom.

While caring for Maggie after a hip replacement, he takes her to choir practice and is instantly struck by the larger than life choir director, Rhys. Rhys is so shiny he’s like staring into the sun–and his passion for music jars John from his long doldrums. For many, music is a healing balm and John–a born and trained musician–has prevented himself from experiencing music for so long he’s a desert awaiting the rain. John allows himself to join the choir for the night, and finds it’s just this side of too much to bear. Maggie is pleased that John could find some solace in the music, and overjoyed that he decides to continue accompanying her to the practices. John, for his part, is experiencing an almost unwanted attraction for Rhys–a man too young and too direct and too much for John to handle in his vulnerable state. Learning that Rhys, too, mourns a lost lover, their union becomes a situation that is nearly unavoidable.

Rhys may only be 23, but he’s lived his years. Well, not the last year and a half, perhaps, not since Lyle’s tragic accident in any case. Rhys and Lyle were first lovers, and performing sensations, sure to secure that recording contract they both sought, and the dramatic end of their love and life together left Rhys broken inside. Finding John to be in much the same state, Rhys is drawn to him, a kindred spirit, despite the 19 year age gap. Rhys sees that singing helps John to emerge from his grief shroud, and gently encourages him to embrace the second love of his life: music performance. I can tell you, reading this book was not a breeze. It’s bittersweet, and raw, and captivating all at once. I had so many emotions coursing through me, channeling the grief and loneliness and reluctance of both John and Rhys to move forward in life and love. Their guilt at finding happiness was so understandable, and so poignant. And, John has some real doubts about being so much older than Rhys. Even if they work at it and it works out…John expects he’ll die first breaking Rhys’ tender heart again. Can he do that? It seems unconscionable to him.

There’s a powerful adage that goes something like this: Joy shared is joy doubled. Grief shared is grief halved. I think that Rhys and John experienced that in the story, and I know it’s true in my life. I loved every second of the pain I felt while experiencing John and Rhys’ story, and I loved it even more when I watched their love grow and develop and become a new and bright thing for them to share. As you can imagine, there are some ups-and-downs to the story, yet it ends on a note that is so happy, it’s impossible to believe that the harmony between John and Rhys is anything short of perfection.

interested? You can find IMPERFECT HARMONY on Goodreads and Amazon.

****GIVEAWAY****

Ms. Northcote is giving away single copies of a backlist book to one random commenter on each of the blog posts in support of IMPERFECT HARMONY. For an entry into the contest, tell me what pastime would become (or has already become) a bittersweet memory for you if you lost someone especially dear to you. I’ve already kicked off the comments with my own experience.

About the Author:
Jay lives just outside Bristol in the West of England, with her husband, two children, and two cats. She comes from a family of writers, but she always used to believe that the gene for fiction writing had passed her by. She spent years only ever writing emails, articles, or website content. One day, she decided to try and write a short story–just to see if she could–and found it rather addictive. She hasn’t stopped writing since.

You can find Jay on her website, Twitter, Facebook Author Page, and Amazon.

Thanks for popping in and don’t forget to comment in order to win!

pride

Putting Him Back Together, PIECE BY PIECE

Hi there! Today I’m sharing my review for Teodora Kostova’s PIECE BY PIECE, a contemporary M/M Romance. While this is a part of a series, it’s a standalone novel of grief and love.

About the book:Sometimes to reach the surface you have to fall to the bottom first… 

For the past ten years, Riley Davis’ life has been overshadowed by the tragic death of his partner. Fluctuating between alcohol induced daze, clinical depression and throwing all his time and effort into his business, Riley doesn’t believe, or even hope, that his life will ever be worth living again. 

Until Sonnie Frye drops by his haberdashery shop, changing his life forever. 
Sonnie is a man who likes getting what he wants, when he wants it. He’s worked hard to establish himself as Queen Victoria theatre’s chief costume designer, collecting multiple awards – and high-profile clients – along the way. Sonnie is used to putting his needs, goals and desires first, unwilling to compromise his own happiness for anybody else. Until he meets a handsome shop owner whose eyes are so sad that they immediately tug at Sonnie’s heartstrings. 
Seeing something he wants, Sonnie is determined to get under Riley’s skin and, preferably, into his bed. But he soon discovers the task is not that easy. For the first time in his life, Sonnie may need to put someone else’s needs before his own, and re-evaluate what really matters in life. 
Will the two men stand side by side to overcome their differences, and everything else life throws at them? Or will it all become too much to bear, shaking them to their very core, destroying everything they’ve worked so hard to achieve? 
***Sexual content, 18+ only*** 
***Piece by Piece is a standalone novel. It’s the full story of Sonnie and Riley***
 

My Review:
This is a series book, but it is not necessary to read them in order.

Sonny Frye is a demanding costumer, known for his fantastic creations for the West End Queen’s Theatre in London. Struggling for inspiration on a new project, he turns to a junior colleague, Penn, whose designs are stunningly creative. Penn introduces Sonny to his good friend Riley–who owns a fabrics and finishings shop that carries the exact type of vintage satin Sonny needs. Riley is stuck in a grief loop ten years deep.

Riley met Richard whey were newly adult, early to mid-twenties, and spent years together before Richard was struck by a hit-and-run driver and died. Since then Riley has had two suicide attempts and struggles daily with anger and guilt.

Sonny doesn’t realize all he’s getting into when caught in Riley’s sad gaze, but he knows it’s a stronger feeling that his usual attraction. Over the course of several month, Sonny and Riley develop a friendship–with Riley (seemingly) finally breaking out of his sheltered misery. Still, there are backslides, and Sonny’s there to catch him when he falls. Thing is, Riley falls deep and hard–when Sony and Riley begin to get physical, he’s guilty for finding love with another man than Richard–but he’s also guilty that he can’t love Sonny as strong as he loved Richard….

As for the book, I did enjoy the slow burn. Sonny’s such a rock, and Riley’s admittedly a mess. Just when I thought he got his act together, he broke down again. The interplay between his growing affection for Sonny and his guilt/grief over Richard is heart-rending. As a person who suffers depression, I’ve had first-hand experience of the disordered thinking Riley lives with.

I think there was a bit of a drag, however. It’s truly difficult to write about depression without getting bogged. I liked that Riley got himself the help he needed, but the way he went about it was frustrating to me. Also, I wanted to see his healing, and those bits were related in terms of sporadic letter to Sonny–who was the dearest of hearts and waited for Riley to return to him. The resolution was very touching and lovely, and I wished for just a little more time to bask in it.

It’s a good, solid love story, with characters that are compelling and real. Riley’s grief is real, his reluctance to let go of his love is a roadblock for a good long time, but he rescues his on self, which was admirable.

Interested? You can find PIECE BY PIECE on Goodreads, Amazon, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, and Book Depository.

 

 

 

Hi, my name is Teodora and I live in London with my husband and my son. I’ve been writing ever since I can remember, but it became my full time job in 2010 when I decided that everything else I’ve tried bores me to death and I have to do what I’ve always wanted to do, but never had to guts to fully embrace. I’ve been a journalist, an editor, a personal assistant and an interior designer among other things, but as soon as the novelty of the new, exciting job wears off, I always go back to writing. Being twitchy, impatient, loud and hasty are not qualities that help a writer, because I have to sit alone, preferably still, and write for most of the day, but I absolutely love it. It’s the only time that I’m truly at peace and the only thing I can do for more than ten minutes at a time – my son has a bigger attention span than me.

When I’m procrastinating, I like to go to the gym, cook Italian meals (and eat them), read, listen to rock music, watch indie movies and True Blood re-runs. Or, in the worst case scenario, get beaten at every Nintendo Wii game by a very inventive kid. 

 

     

Thanks for popping in, and keep reading my friends!