About the book:
Okay, I admit it…I didn’t do it.
This is normal, right? I mean, just because everyone I know has talked like they’ve already done it doesn’t mean that they’re telling the truth…right?
It’s not like I’m asking for that much. I don’t need the perfect guy. I don’t need candlelight or roses. Honestly, I don’t even need a real bed.
The guys I know complain that girls are always looking for Mr. Right—do I have to wear a sign that says I’m only looking for Mr. Right Now?
Sooooo…anyone out there want sex? Anyone? Hello? Just for fun?
I am not going to die a virgin. One way or another I am going to make this happen.
Hey, what have I got to lose? Besides the obvious.
Elena “Ellie” Kolstakis is a 21 year old virgin. Some people would celebrate this as “strong moral character” but Ellie feels cursed. She’s been at uni in London three years now and has never had a boyfriend. She’s not hideous, or deformed. Mostly, she’s average–with an overdeveloped sense of self-loathing.
See, Ellie feels left out of the crowd whenever her buds start talking about hook-ups and beer goggles and embarrassing first times. She wants to have sex, dammit, and it becomes her mission. This, by the way, comes with a whole lot of pre-sex prep–including waxing, shaving, and plucking to cultivating the perfect lady garden.
I will, for the record, state this is the only book which made me laugh out loud over the use of the term: Hitler.
Ellie’s quest leads her to almost hooking up, having a huge fall out with her childhood BFF, fighting with her mom, making a new BF, making a gay best friend (who happens to also be virgin), starting a vlog, meeting a decent guy, having fairly decent snogs, gaining self-confidence, and experiencing epic fails at both scoring and pubic bareness.
I did have several moments of /facepalm laughs. Poor Ellie!
Spoiler–she does tear her V-card.
Not-so-spoiler–She has one heck of a time getting the deed done.
So, on a personal level, I totally sympathized with Ellie’s eagerness to be “just like everybody,” but I was also glad she found new connections. Her mother’s ham-handed effort to unite Ellie with Paul was so brilliantly handled. And, Ellie reaching out to Emma helped Ellie to grow out of her cautious shell. I truly adored Ellie’s adventurous spirit. She’s like that awkward cousin everyone likes but quietly pities because she’s so sweet and yet so socially clueless.
Ellie’s level of personal growth was excellent–she didn’t emerge from her shell-she burst forth and dove headlong into an active social experiment: Operation Fix Ellie. But, having finished her quest, with bittersweet results, Ellie took a moment to reflect on her self and realized that she wasn’t broken at the beginning of this journey. She was just fine being a virgin–even if she wasn’t a virgin any longer. I rather liked her more for that.
Now, be prepared for lots of vagina talk in this book. The amount of time devoted to pubic grooming is substantial, and forms many of the gags in this book. Imagine a hairy man being outraged by pubic hair, while a bare man is stunned to not find any? Yeah, poor Ellie just can’t win that battle.
I also liked VIRGIN’s commentary on porn in today’s society. The arguments about its prevalence and acceptability were sound and funny, and the expectations placed on women as a result of porn rang true. The setting was cool, because I like the London scene and lingo. The smexytimes were akin to THE FORTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN in scope and humor. Lots of fits and starts with cringe-worthy happenings that only made me love Ellie more for embarking on this personal journey. This book is NOT for kiddos. Lots and lots of frank discussions of sex, and how to get some…
About the author: (in Radhika’s words…)
Thanks for popping in, and keep reading my friends!